Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Nursery University (2008)

I haven't watched very many documentaries in my life.  I am not sure why that is exactly because the few I have seen, I have enjoyed.  I think part of it might be that when I want to watch a movie and relax, I don't necessarily want to learn something.  (That sounds really bad typed out.)  Maybe a better way of saying it is that I want to be entertained.  So, in an effort to broaden my horizons, I challenged myself to watch 10 documentaries.  (I know, not very many, but it is a start.)

So today, while I had a sick toddler sleeping on me making it impossible to do really anything else, I watched Nursery University.  From the description, I kind of expected an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras with the exception that instead of parents (and toddlers...kind of) competing for a crown, they are competing for a spot in a prestigious preschool in New York City.

There were definitely a few "um...you realize your kid is only 3 right?" moments as I watched some of the parents talk about what was at stake.  I can only imagine the pressure that some of those 3 year old kids are going to be under in 15 more years.  There were actually people that talked about how what preschool their child gets into could determine the college they could (or more distressing, couldn't) get into.

Some of the craziness aside, there was something that struck me as true for all of those parents.  Every single of them were doing it because they wanted the best for their child.  When I was in the classroom, before I had Taelin, I wanted to believe that I believed that most parents were really doing the best they could.  (Notice all the loopholes I left myself?)  People would tell me I would understand more when I had a child of my own, which made me kind of angry and later hurt when we were struggling to get pregnant.

What I realize now is that I was right.  I just really believe it now.  There isn't anything I wouldn't do for Taelin and I don't really care how crazy what I am doing might seem to others.  I also think that most other parents think the same thing, I am just lucky enough to have my life together enough that other people could see that too. The timing of this particular documentary comes at an interesting point as I am watching, as a teacher and a parent, of the dismantling of our public schools.  I want to be a champion of public education. But as I look at what class sizes are going to be when Taelin gets to kindergarten, along with the insane focusing of data and testing I am not entirely convinced that Taelin will attend public school.  I could see myself in some of those parents in the documentary.  And I am completely okay with that.

As I read the reviews on Netflix, I found that my personal view of this documentary was not shared.  I actually thought to myself, "They must not have kids."  Shame on me...(but it is probably true)

Monday, May 23, 2011

Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum

AMAZING!  This is the book that I have been waiting for!  Finally a book that I just couldn't put down but at the same time didn't want to finish.

There is no way I will do justice to try and summarize this book, but I will give a little nibble for those of you that might want it.  It is a historical fiction novel that jumps between Nazi Germany and present day Minnesota.  It follows two women, a mother and her child, through these two different time frames. Anna, the mother, is raised in Germany during WWII and finds herself in a captivating story that pushes the reader to think, "What would I do?"  Trudy, Anna's daughter, we get to see has a young girl and an adult, trying to understand where she has come from. "Who am I really?"  Another question I often find myself asking.

There were so many moments in the book that I found myself holding my breath; waiting to see what was going to happen.  There were so many times that I just had to stop for a minute to really let the events from the books sink in.  While this novel was a piece of fiction, I am sure many of the things that were written about happened in one form or another.  It was just unbelievable.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Baked Chicken Strips and Homemade Onion Soup Mix

We eat a lot of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in our house.  Even before I started Weight Watchers, Joe and I were picky about chicken and pretty much boneless and skinless white meat was what we ate.  Now that I am on Weight Watchers, that is the lean protein of choice.  The problem comes with finding different ways to serve it.  I probably at this point have 15 recipes that I rely on but could always use more.

So, instead of making the stuffed peppers that was on the menu plan for tonight (which I determined that Joe wouldn't eat no matter the recipe I used) I decided to look for a new chicken recipe.  I have done breaded chicken in the past many different ways, but ran into one on  www.allrecipes.com.  I made a few changes to it (for instance I didn't pour melted butter over the chicken before putting it into the oven) and turned out a fairly good recipe.  If I make it again, I will have to make a one major change to what I did (that I put in italics below) but we all (Taelin included) came away from the table satisfied with what we had.

This recipe also gave me a chance to whip up something else that was on my list of things to try and make but hadn't had a reason to.  I often used the Lipton Onion Soup mix in different dishes that I make, but since paying more attention to what I am putting into our bodies, it was something I stopped using.  Then, I decided to see if I could find a recipe for a homemade version made from the spices I already had in my kitchen. I found a couple different recipes and created one with what spices I had hand.  So this post actually has two new recipes!   Here you go..
 
Baked Chicken

Ingredients

1/2 cup fat free sour cream
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 clove minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts cut into strips
1 1/2 cups crushed cornflakes cereal
2 tablespoons homemade onion soup mix

Directions
  1. Mix the sour cream, Dijon mustard, garlic, and pepper together in a large bowl. Add the chicken and turn to assure the chicken is coated. Refrigerate 20 to 30 minutes.
  2. Combine the cornflakes and onion soup mix in a bowl. Gently press the chicken breasts into the cornflakes mixture to coat and shake off any excess.  (I think next time I will make sure that there isn't a ton of the wet mixture still on the chicken.  Obviously there needs to be some, but on some of the pieces there was too much and it made the coating kind of soggy)
  3. Put the coated chicken in a baking dish that has been greased (I used my Misto that has olive oil).
  4. Bake in the preheated oven (400 degrees) until the chicken is golden brown, 20 to 25 minutes. 


Homemade Onion Soup Mix

Ingredients

2/3 cup dried, minced onion
3 teaspoons parsley flakes
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon celery salt
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon ground pepper

Directions

Put all the spices into a container that can be tightly sealed and shake the heck out of it.  I used two tablespoons for the recipe that was supposed to use a half of a store bought packet and we both thought it 
tasted pretty good.  I figure the next time I use it, I will be sure to shake it up again.  The thing I loved most is how NOT salty it was....I will never buy a Lipton soup packet again. 

So there you go...baked chicken with a little different preparation and a substitution for a pre-made mix I will never have to buy again. Win-Win in the Crowe house tonight! 

   

Monday, May 16, 2011

Here's the Story by Maureen McCormick

A few years back I went on HUGE memoir kick.  Some of the people could be considered famous and others became famous only after writing their book.  I don't know what it is exactly about memoirs that I seem to be drawn to.  I guess it probably comes down to the fact that I am like a lot of other people, a snoopy lookie-loo.

Reality t.v. has certainly shown us that people not only want to watch others but that people want to be watched.  I will raise my hand and admit to watching my fair share of reality t.v. before we canceled our cable but am thankful that I don't really have the time or access to get sucked into it all anymore.  The only reality show that I sort of miss is Intervention on A & E and I think that could be said that that particular show borders on being a documentary. At any rate, I think people write memoirs for the same reason that people choose to be on reality t.v.; they want to share themselves.  Now, some people are a little more noble than others.  Some people want to share bodily fluids and their undying love after meeting someone only 2 hours before.  Some people want to share how smart or tough or whatever in order to win some sort of competition.  But some people, want to share their story and hope by sharing their story a greater understanding is gained for themselves and for their readers.

Here's the Story is just such a memoir.  I got this book as a gift from my secret santa from work and it has been sitting in my "to read" pile since then.  If you don't know, Maureen was the one that played Marcia on The Brady Bunch.  I knew her more from Celebrity Fit Club.  (yeah...I know....I already disclosed my reality t.v. watching...)  After the last few books I have read, I decided to go ahead and move this one to the top of the pile.

This book isn't going to win any kind of major awards but I doubt she thought it would when she was writing it.  A lot of the book is about Maureen trying to break free from Marcia and be Maureen.  She all the things you hear about teen stars doing when their show gets canceled...drugs, partying, sleeping around, etc, etc, etc.... Like many her family had interesting dynamics which resulted in a lot of insecurities.

What struck me most while I was reading this book is how we all in some way would love to shed some of our past.  Let go of some of the things that used to be who we were but aren't who we want to be anymore. Get behind from the shadow.  I think about the person I was in high school and just wish that I could have been a little more of me now than I was.

The flip side of that is that I probably wouldn't be me without all the things leading up and I am sure that is very true.  But there have been times that I find myself in a situation with people that I revert back to who I was when those relationships were formed.  Generally when that happens, I get kind of upset with myself because I wasn't being me.  I was being an old me...not that it's bad necessarily, but I just think this me is more fun and real.

For me, I just battle (if you can even call it a battle) my own differences.  I can't imagine being "followed" by a character that you played that is nothing really like you but that is what Maureen has had to do her whole adult life.  Very little of the book is actually about her time playing Marcia Brady.  Most of it is about how playing Marcia Brady affected her and her relationships with people, given her family history and her own personal demons.

I tore through the book fairly quickly and it was a good read.  It was typical memoir of stories and lessons learned.  Now...time to go through the "to-read" pile and decide what's next.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Yoga Translated Is Actually "Sore Muscles"...just so you know

It is no secret to anyone that knows me even a little that exercise is not my thing.  When I was a kid my legs and feet were all jacked up which made me the kid that couldn't run or skip.  I often found myself standing alone when teams were being picked for whatever barbaric game we had to play in gym...Red Rover and dodgeball were my least favorites.  I wasn't good at it so why on earth would I do more of it?  As some kids played sports, like baseball and basketball, I read and played the piano.

Reading and playing piano were great things to do, but they certainly didn't help keep my body healthy in terms of exercise.  As I gained weight, it became more difficult to do anything without pain so then I just didn't, which had it's own consequences.  I have tried lots of things...walking I can do, but to be honest it is kind of boring unless I am walking with a friend which isn't always possible.  I tried Tae Bo when it first came out and I kind of liked it but again, I hurt too much afterwards.  And one time, I glanced in the mirror and realized how much of an idiot I looked like and that was the end of Tae Bo.  Gyms have collected my money without really needed to serve me because I stopped showing up after awhile.  I could go on and on...my point is, I haven't found something I like.

Back in college, Joe took a yoga class because the Dr. had suggested that it would help his back.  He had injured it (playing paintball I think) and it had been causing him some trouble ever since.  He had enjoyed it but hadn't really stuck with it long term.  I remembering thinking at the time that maybe that would be something I could do without hurting and looking like an idiot.  So when I was making my list, I decided to take yoga class.  I finally landed on a Saturday morning class. It was a beginners level 1 class taught by the woman that started the yoga place.

Because I am a planner, I decided to Google "what to expect yoga class".  Bad idea.  The first article I open up leads with, "You may have some anxiety about your first yoga class, but what to wear shouldn't create extra anxiety."  WHAT!?!  Up until that point, I hadn't even thought I was supposed to anxious about the class, let alone what I was going to wear. But guess what, I was now.  So, I read some more to find out the proper attire and went off the to the store to get what I needed, including a yoga mat.

I had what I needed and Saturday morning I left Joe and Taelin on the couch watching Dora the Explorer and went off the class.  Joe was probably so thankful that the class had finally come because he was tired of listening to me get all weird and strange about the whole thing.  As I was driving, I thought about all the things that I had figured could go wrong.  Here is just a little sampling...  "What if I get in behind a really hairy guy with short shorts?"  "What if I get so relaxed I fart?"  "What if I lose my balance and fall over, creating a domino effect for everyone in the class?"  Can you see why Joe was probably just glad to have me go already?

I finally pull up to the yoga place (I am sure there is a name for it) and parked my car and went in.  First thing I find out is that the lady who does the beginners class is gone for the morning and Josef will be subbing.    I tell the lady that I was a yoga virgin and don't have a clue.  I decided to not share my whole "virgin" analogy I had created in my head and just nicely ask for help.  She sends me off with a couple of yoga blocks that look like bricks, 2 blankets, and what can best be described as a belt.  Umm...it was at this point that I decided completely abandon the virgin analogy, for what is hopefully obvious reasons.

I roll my mat out and just start watching everyone else, hoping that I won't be the only clueless one.  And then in walks Josef.  I want to say for the record that stereotypes are too often used to judge when there is more to the picture.  With that said, Josef walks in and he looks like every male yoga instructor I have even seen in a movie or read about in a book.  He had long gray hair pulled back in a ponytail and a thick German accent.  He was wearing a bright yellow shirt (which my research had said was a no-no) and those wind pants that people wore all the time in the '80's.  All I kept thinking was..."Oh god.  Please leave the pants on.  Please don't let their be tiny short shorts underneath.  Please leave your pants on."  Looking back now I don't know why the heck I cared, but I did.  Luckily, Josef left his pants on and turned on some soft music and began telling me all about how I haven't ever really breathed until then.

The class was only supposed to be about an hour, but two hours later I walked out of the building to my car feeling the most relaxed I have in ages.  I certainly stretched muscles I didn't know I had and I couldn't do it all, but that was okay.  It was truly a beginners class and I was concentrating so hard on what I was trying to do that I didn't even notice anyone else...which means that nobody was probably noticing me either. I am really, really sore today, the day after the class, but I made it through and am even thinking about going back, which is saying something.

I am no longer a yoga virgin.  I didn't fall over and I didn't fart.  Everyone kept their pants on. Yoga success.  Oooommmmmm......

Friday, May 13, 2011

When You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris

This is going to disappoint my sister greatly, as she is the one that gave this book to Joe for Christmas, but thank goodness that book is over. I know that Sedaris has had a lot of wildly success books, but this is the first and last book of his that I will be reading. Sorry Lorie...

This book is a series of autobiographical essays, which is a genre that I have found I enjoy given the right author. There are some writers that are so clever that they can begin writing an essay telling one story, move into another story and then artfully tie the two together like they were always meant to be one. Sedaris' essays lacked organization within a single essay and there was not much that connected the book other than him sounding like a shallow, spoiled brat with OCD. Sorry Lorie...

As if it weren't enough to already not like this book, the last essay was 80 pages of him going on about smoking. How he started smoking, things that happened to him because he smoked, when he decided to stop smoking, and how he decided to stop smoking. Annoying, annoying, annoying... Sorry Lorie...

One of the things that I love about writer's that write essays is that often they write about something that you can connect to; you can see a part of yourself in their writing. There was not one moment that I was reading this book where that occurred. Sorry Lorie...

I have apologized plenty to my sister for ripping apart this book that she picked out because it is polite thing to do. Lorie, I expect your apology for sending this book into my house any day. ;)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Teachers who inspire realize there will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how we use them. ~Author Unknown

Stumbling Blocks vs. Stepping Stones

I can't really go to work anymore without hearing or feeling something in terms of the school budget.  It is an absolutely rough time to be a teacher in Salem-Keizer.  Not one person has been left unaffected by the cuts that have already been made and it is projected to get worse before it gets better.  Along with job related stress, it seems that there are so many around me that have "life" related stress. It sometimes seems too hard to listen to.

I have been so lucky to have the job I have had this year.  It really has brought me a lot of joy, and has allowed me to be the mom I want to be to Taelin which adds a richness to my life that can't be measured.  I have built relationships and, in some cases, friendships that I hope will extend passed this year.  I really am lucky.

But at this point, I am concerned about my ability to sustain my energy for the rest of the year.  I feel myself everyday I work feeling more helpless as I wait for the next piece of bad news.  I rack my brain as I am walking down the hallway to the next classroom, hoping that something helpful will come out of my mouth...or least something that is not harmful.  I am worry that I won't be able to fill myself up with enough so that I have enough to give the next day.

It is hard to think of the difficult times, current and coming, and consider that they are stepping stones. It implies that something positive is going to come out of all this and I just find that hard to believe.  I almost find it insulting to those around me in pain.  But I guess it comes back to trying to find the good in the middle of all the bad.  One of my teachers got a full-time job as a kindergarten teacher at a private school.  Another is considering teaching overseas.  Yet another, is taking a year to go live in Germany, figuring that if there is any time in her life that she can do it, it is now.  One has decided to go back to graduate school and one even decided to start a family.  I guess for them, this whole thing has provided them a stepping stone to whatever the next chapter is in their life, whether it was in their plan or not.  I guess stumbling blocks might not be that bad...as long as you are willing to get back up.

Maybe I just need to keep that in the back of my head in the coming weeks.  These rocks, which seem like huge boulders right now, could lead me (or the people around me) to something completely unexpected.  And that unexpected thing could turn out to be great.  That certainly won't be the first thing out of my mouth as I am talking to other people that are trying to process what this all means for themselves, but maybe that is how I keep myself filled up in order to help other people.

I guess it is all just a choice.  And I need to make sure that I choose getting up and moving forward.  What an exercise in personal growth this will be....  Hey, wait!  Did I really sound half-full there?  :)

Sunday, May 8, 2011

All About Taelin A-Z Photographs

Number 95 on my list is to take 26 pictures, one for each letter of the alphabet, all related to the same theme.  When I first made my list, I put this on my list in an effort to become a better photographer.  I am not trying to become a professional, but I would like to understand my camera better and to be better at taking pictures.  I really didn't know what my theme was going to be and hadn't really considered it since putting it on my list. But after reading Taelin's May daycare newsletter (yes, a newsletter for my 2 year old) a plan formed.  

One of the things Taelin's teacher always includes is an at-home assignment for the month. The assignment is to write a story about Taelin, listing her likes and dislikes and bringing to share with the rest of the class. Now, even though she is only two, I take the fact that she has an assignment seriously.  Maybe it is because I am a teacher, maybe it is because of the kind of student I am, maybe it is because I needed an excuse...maybe it is all three...but regardless of the reason, Taelin instantly become the "theme" of my A-Z photography.

I mean really, an alphabet book for Taelin all about Taelin that I get to do using my camera (which I want to learn more about) and my scrapbooking stash.  It is totally a win-win for me.  So...here is the A-Z list that I need to start work on taking pictures of (yes, I got to make ANOTHER list).

abc’s of Taelin

a-apples
b-babies
c-coloring
d-dancing
e-elephant
f-family
g-growing up
h-horses
i-independent
j-jumping
k-kitty cat
l-Little Star (one of her favorite books)
m-monkeys
n-numbers
o-outside
p-park
q-quiet time to play
r-reading books
s-singing
t-tucker
u-under and over (she is a climber)
v- vroom vroom
w-water (bathes and swimming)
x- X’s and O’s...blowing kisses
y-yummy (pictures of her eating her favorite foods)
z-zoo

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Happy Mother's Day!  It is a strange holiday...a day set aside to show appreciation to the mother's in our life.  I posted on Facebook earlier about how lucky I really feel to be celebrating my third Mother's Day as a mom to Taelin.  It was a long road to becoming a mother; one filled with sadness and struggle but also one with a great destination.  I am grateful for Taelin every single day.

As I was checking Facebook today, I couldn't help but notice what others (in particular, other women) were saying about their own mothers.  I was interested in my initial reaction which was that I couldn't even imagine saying some of the things that people were saying about their moms, about my mom.  I just don't have that kind of relationship.  I used to be angry and sadden by that (usually not at the same time) but I have begun to come to terms that it just is what it is.  And as helpless as that phrase "it is what it is" sounds, it really has helped me to have realistic expectations.  Hallmark doesn't write cards for people like me to send to my mom....and that is okay.

I know I will make mistakes as a mother, I already have.  I doubt there is a mother out there that doesn't have a top ten list of things they wish they could have done differently.  But as I think about what I want for myself on this day, t is one of my greatest hopes, that someday, Taelin would say even half of the wonderful things that people were saying about their moms.  I hope I give her good reason to say them.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Water slides. They are like P.E. Not everyone thinks they are fun.

Last October, Joe and I drove up to Seattle for the weekend to take Taelin to a Wiggles concert.  On our way back home, I noticed a huge neon sign flashing "WATER PARK".  I did some research on Great Wolf Lodge (the owners of said neon sign) and I will spare you the details of the decision of going and all that went with that...all you really need to know is that we went this past weekend and all in all, had a great time.

Obviously with Taelin only being 2, there were parts that were not really accessible to her but they did have quite a bit that she could do.  She had a great time playing in the water and going down the little "waterslide" in the toddler area.

Leading up to the trip, I knew I was going to have the opportunity to check something off my list...going down a water slide.  Now, some people may wonder why in the world I would put this on a list.  I mean, for many people, going down a water slide would be something fun; those people, are not me.  Water slides are usually high off the ground, so for someone afraid of heights (as I am) that is strike one.

Strike two. Water slides don't exactly provide a person with a lot of control while going down.  You kind of get sloshed about, side to side, and you have to hope that whoever designed that water slide was better at physics that you were.  In my case, I have to hope that whoever designed it was a lot better at physics that I am. I will admit to fearing a time or two that I will be the unlucky person that gets tossed over the edge no matter how many people have successfully gone before me!

And of course, there is strike three.  Strike three is the strike that is inevitable.  Um...I weigh too much.  And in order to go down a water slide you probably have to wear a swimsuit.  See where I am going with this....

Ok...now before I get to far off track I need to say that I did put in on my list (unlike learning physics..you will never see that on the list).  All three of those "strikes" are really things that need to be overcome...so, on the list it went.

The first night we got there kind of late but we did going swimming for a little bit.  And after getting a handle on how completely adorable my daughter was in her new swimsuit and how excited she was about everything, my eyes turned to the 5 big water slides.  In an instant, I wished I could change my mind, but knew that Joe would give me endless crap if I backed out. Luckily, I got a reprieve that night because there just wasn't time.

The second day, there was plenty of opportunity but I chickened out.  I got all weird about it kind of like I did on my 21st birthday when I refused to even have one drink even though that is what you are supposed to do on your 21st birthday.  I didn't really have a good reason not to do, but I just don't like being told what do to.  And apparently that goes for when I tell myself I have to do something I don't want to do.  (Seriously, if you want to call the men in white coats...feel free...I know how crazy this sounds.)  Needless to say, I didn't do it and I was correct in that the loving harassment from Joe started. And I quote, "If you don't do it, I will so call you out on Facebook and your blog.  You will never hear the end of it."

So, it was on the third and final day, with only hours to check out that I finally decided to go down the damn slide.  Up the stairs I went, picking the least scary of the slides, and when I arrived at the top, I found myself a couple stories above concrete, in my swimsuit, surrounded my girls that were surely 1/3 my age and weight.  I want to say for the record that I was not having fun.

After standing in line, for what seemed like forever, I plunked myself down at the top of the slide realizing that there really wasn't anyway off the damn thing unless I wanted to take the "walk of shame" back down the stairs.  I looked up at the lifeguard whose job it was to give the "all clear" when she shouted, at no one in particular, "Lay down, cross your arms and legs and go!" in a voice that I can only describe as one that I have seen  a drill segregant use in movies.  I obviously didn't want to go unless I knew for sure it was my turn (what if I went before I was supposed to go and ran into someone?!?) so I continued to look at her until she looked down and yelled, "GO!"

At this point, I just wanted to be done with it all so I laid down, crossed my arms and legs and went.  And as I sloshed back and forth, hoping that I didn't fly over the side down to the concrete below and land in front of all those skinny little girls that had gone down before me, I realized that I really just don't like water slides and that should be okay.

I am glad I went because I can check it off the list.  And when Taelin grows tall enough to go on them herself and if she wants me to go with her, I will climb those stairs again and ride along with her instead of watching on the sidelines.  But I won't like it...