And then I stopped. I took a breath and then told myself to make a choice. I could continue down this road of cranky, which just leads to more cranky for me and eventually those around me. Or, I could stop, take moment and look at things differently.
How lucky am I that I have a daughter that is growing and healthy? One who feels safe enough in her environment to take risks and learn new things? How lucky am I that I have a daughter at all?
How lucky am I that I have a house to clean? How lucky am I that I am home this summer, getting a chance to get caught up on all the things that were left behind this spring?
The answer is that I am very lucky. And grateful. So incredibly grateful. It is a shame that it is so easy to forget all I have. Maybe not forget, but take for granted. So here, in no particular order, are 10 things I am grateful for this week.
1. Taelin: No matter how frustrated I can be with her, there is nothing in my life I am more thankful for. This time seems to be going so incredibly fast it makes me sad to think about. I need to leave the list of "to-do's" and live in these moments. They are flying by.
2. Joe: He is my best friend and knows me better than anyone else...and he sticks around, on purpose.
3. The weather: No really...even though I would love some sunshine, my house hasn't flooded or been ripped apart by a tornado. A cloudy day...at least I won't get sunburned.
4. My friends: I have some pretty amazing friends. They laugh at my jokes, listen to my stories, give me advice, and just take me as I am.
5. My bed: No seriously. I love my bed. It is a pillow-top and I still have my down-comforter on which is counter-acted with the ceiling fan running. Joe got me new down pillows for Christmas that are amazing. I love my bed and I love sleeping in it. I think I will take nap tomorrow afternoon.
6. My job: I just heard the other day, officially, that I get to mentor again next year. There were definitely challenges this past year, but I love the job and the flexibility it brings to my family. I am excited for August to come and am more aware this year than ever how lucky I am to have a place to go back to.
7. Iced Unsweetened Green Tea: I am trying to eliminate diet soda and it would be impossible without my iced green tea. My favorite is from Starbucks, but I can make a mean glass of tea at home too.
8. My list of 101 things to do in 1001 days: It is because of my list that I was able to stop myself on Wednesday and quit being so cranky.
9. My weight loss: I have accomplished so much in this area. I am really proud of the steps I have taken to be healthier. I am grateful that I have the tools available to support me as I continue.
10. My home: It isn't the newest house and it probably isn't decorated the best, but it shelters us (and my really comfortable bed..which I am off to go see very shortly)
So there you have it....I will be cranky again. You can count on it. I don't trust people that are NEVER cranky. The key, I think at least for me, is whether or not I can change it. Yesterday, I proved I could.