lugubrious: full of sadness or sorrow; very sad especially in an exaggerated or insincere way

Not in any way, shape or form am I feeling lugubrious about my home life, but there is a little bit of that feeling in my profession life right now.  I like the work I am doing.  I think I am good at what I do.  But...there is just a feeling I get. Certain moment that are fleeting but strong that just feel me feeling...I don't even know what to call it exactly.  

I bought these flowers the other day at the Wooden Shoe Tulip Festival.  The orange-ish one was the only one that was open and I assumed (wrongly) that the rest would be the same color.  As the others have opened up they weren't what I expected.  They aren't bad.  Just not what I expected.  And I kind of feel a little like I am that orange-ish tulip.  Which for a small moment leaves me feeling a little lugubrious.