Kindergarten is coming. Taelin is going to be doing morning kindergarten at the same place that she did preschool. She knows the teachers, knows the school, has friends...there isn't much changing in that regard. But our schedule is changing. Instead of going 3 full days, which has been the schedule for the last 3 years, she will be going 5 half days for kindergarten. All this means that my schedule as work as changed too. I am so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing job and boss that has given me the flexibility that let me make good decisions for our family. I really wanted to be able to volunteer in Taelin's room so I decided that I will have Monday off, then work Tuesday-Thursday morning and then all day Friday. The Friday isn't ideal, but it is what has to be because of staff meetings and professional development.
So, naturally, because I am me, I have been feeling worried about this change. My 4 full days off in a row will be gone. Sleeping in, snuggling in bed reading books, making homemade waffles will no longer happen on Friday, which was our tradition. I just kept feeling like there was all this "wonderful" ending with a huge "unknown" looming in it's place.
But Monday I got a glimpse of the gifts that might be coming. I am not supposed to be working on Mondays, but the beginning of the year is just crazy and it demands flexibility. There was a district thing that I had to be at that got over at noon so Joe (being the most awesome husband in the universe) stayed home in the morning with Taelin. We made a huge list of things that she could do independently while Joe worked and I went off to my meeting. At noon after the meeting was over, I grabbed my bag and said goodbye to my co-workers and headed to my car. I was home 20 minutes later and Joe was out the door a few minutes after that.
Taelin told me all about her morning as we made lunch together. After lunch, we did some chores around the house and then ran to the grocery store. We came home and watered the garden and ran through the sprinkler. Taelin showered up and we snuggled up on the couch with our homemade chocolate cookies made the day before and made a stack of read books so high that it eventually tumbled over. We folded some laundry together (I wonder how long she will love folding laundry?) and then figured out what to make for dinner.
It was an absolute perfectly boring, regular afternoon with her. I loved it all. An suddenly that unknown looming is a little less unknown and a lot less looming. My morning honestly went so fast that I hardly felt like I worked. And when I got home, I wasn't exhausted from being at work and it wasn't a race to make dinner/eat dinner/clean/shower/bedtime.
I don't know why I don't figure it out. Change always ends up being ok. Things end but those ends are new beginnings and I need to remember that when change is coming. That way, I can enjoy, savor and celebrate the endings instead of missing them worrying about what is unknown. Maybe one of these days I will remember that in the right order. Maybe.
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