Friday, November 30, 2012

Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance - each beautiful, unique and too soon gone. ~Deborah Whipp

At the start of this post, I am 58 minutes away from the beginning of December 2012.  The last two years, with varying success, I have done a Christmas countdown with Taelin.  Last year, I actually completed a December Daily album that chronicled all the things we did in December leading up to Christmas.  It was so much fun to do a little something building up to Christmas, even though Taelin wasn't very aware of time.

This year, though, she is VERY aware of time!  We made a Halloween paper chain countdown about half way through October because she was just sure that the next day was Halloween.  In November, we made a turkey and for each day we added a feather and listed something for which she was thankful.  All those were fun, but in some ways were just gearing her up for December!  My December Daily list is complete and after an exhaustive (and almost heartbreaking) search, I found the calendar I made last year.  It is kind of like a shadow box, with a sunken middle, but has little boxes around the edge that pull in and out.  It took about a half a bottle of wood glue, as many clamps that my dad left behind, and many, many curse words to build.

After finally finding it tonight, I worked on the middle part a little bit (still not completely done) and filled each box with a little punched out piece of paper listing the December activity for our day.  She doesn't know anything about it yet and I am SO excited to show her tomorrow.  I thought I would share the list of things that I have right now in case anyone else was making a December to-do list of any kind.

1st: Decorate the house
2nd: Zoo Lights
3rd: Make Christmas snowman ornaments
4th: Shop and donate for Toys to Tots
5th: A new Christmas coloring book
6th: Write a letter to Santa (obviously with help)
7th: Shop and donate to the food bank
8th: Make paper snowflakes
9th: Decorate a gingerbread house
10th: Make salt dough ornaments for preschool teachers
11th: Paint handprint Christmas tree
12th: Taelin's Preschool Christmas Concert
13th: Make Christmas cards
14th: Concert at the Capitol (one of my teachers this year is a music teacher and we are going to go and listen to her choir perform at the Capitol building downtown)
15th: Visit Santa!
16th: Go see The Nutcracker (a local, kid-friendly show)
17th: Go Christmas shopping for Daddy
18th: Make a snowglobe
19th: Make fudge
20th: Open Hallmark ornament (decided to do this before the craziness of present opening started)
21st: Wrap presents
22nd: Baking cookies
23rd: Watch Christmas movies
24th: Drive around and look at Christmas lights

Obviously missing from this list is getting and decorating the tree.  We will be doing that at some point, but I didn't want to put it on the list because so much of that depends on weather here.  There is a great little u-cut tree farm just up the hill from us that we have been getting our tree from for years.  Last year, we had a 9 foot tree and paid $20 for it!

So, that is the plan.  We will see how it goes.  There is nothing really set in stone so if it gets too crazy, I will just pull the little card and do something else.  I will hopefully be good about carrying around my camera so I can capture all these little memories.  There is some prep that clearly needs to be done with it all so I actually think I am going to sit down and doing a little list-building to make sure I am ready.  (What isn't listed here are all the work things I have tentatively planned, the shopping and sending of presents, and the random acts of kindness that I am on the lookout for.)

And, with that, I need to get going.  A new tradition that I am starting this year is wrapping up all of her Christmas books.  She already has 20 Christmas/winter themed books (most of which have been packed up since last year), so I just need 4 more.  We are going to open one a day and read it before bed time.  And you may have guessed it, none of them are wrapped...yet...so I need to get going!

Here is to the start of the Christmas season!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. -Albert Enstein

Einstein was a genius right?  So it stands to reason that perhaps when one finds themselves doing the same thing over and over there is a choice to be made...either become insane or do something different.  
I am NOT a mental health expert but I think that I might have been just at the edge of insanity but thanks to my puzzle making and my ever-patient husband my mental health crisis as been averted for now.  

And what is the source of the near insanity you ask?  Weight loss.  It is no secret how much of a struggle my journey has been pretty much this whole year.  But I continued to trudge to Weight Watcher meetings, stepping up to the scale and putting it all out there.  I have clapped for who knows how many 5 pound stars, none of them mine.  I continued to track one day and not the next.  I would walk everyday during the week until it started a 10 day rainy streak. (I am a fair weather exerciser.)  And the result?  Bouncing up and down like the yo-yo Taelin loves to fling around and sometimes smacks into walls.  (I am admitting to feeling like I have smacked into a wall.)

So then....a change needs to happen.  It has been brewing for awhile.  There are a lot of things that aren't working for me anymore so I need to stop doing them.  There was a lot of internal struggle (A LOT), some tears and a few hugs doled out by Joe but I have reached a few decisions.

First of all, I have changed my Weight Watcher subscription.  Instead of the monthly pass which includes the online support, the meetings with the leader and other members and weekly weigh-in, I have switched to an on-line version only.  I am still track my food and my weight and have the support of the online community.
With the money I have saved ($25 a month), I have joined a locally owned gym.  It is nothing fancy but it has equipment and classes and clearly isn't catering to the die hard fitness folks.  I have some friends that have been going there for awhile.  It has a in house daycare, which again isn't anything fancy, but just today I took a 1 hour step class while Taelin played kitchen, puzzles and watched a Mickey Mouse show.  She was happy, I was happy (but sore) and after an hour we went about our day home together.

I ran into my Weight Watcher leader on Black Friday randomly just days after I have changed by subscription.  It was awkward because I felt like I needed to explain myself, especially after the email she had sent me the week before.  (I hadn't been to a meeting in three weeks.)  I imagine that there will be a few more awkward conversations with people as I change the way I am trying to become healthy.  I have to keep telling myself I am not quitting.  I am not going to meetings anymore nor am I relying on a scale in a center to keep me motivated (which quite frankly wasn't working anyway) but I am not quitting.  I am changing what I am doing because what I was doing wasn't working.  I am going to become healthy.

I guess we will see how it works out.  I am not sure how much I am going to update with my journey.  I am sure it will make an appearance but quite frankly I need to take a step back from thinking that external pressures like a weigh-in or a blog post is going to influence my decisions.  I don't like that on this blog, when you look at the label cloud on the left hand side, "weight loss" is one of the most used labels.  Weight loss isn't who I am.  I am a wife and a mother, a sister and a daughter.  I am a teacher, a mentor, a reader, a writer, a learner.  I love to cook and take pictures, go out with my friends and laugh until it hurts. There are things that excite me, scare me, calm me, inspire me.  I am more than weight loss.

Here is to not going insane.  

Monday, November 26, 2012

Photo A Day Week of Nov 19-25

A funny grouping of pictures for this week.  There aren't any that I am feeling super great about but I'm not really disliking them either.  My pictures this week were definitely an afterthought this week.  So...here they are!

nov 19, 2012

nov 20, 2012

nov 21, 2012

nov 22, 2012

nov 23, 2012

nov 24, 2012

nov 25, 2012

Time is an old firmly rooted tree; we are the breeze rustling its leaves. ~Terri Guillemets

49 done
15 in progress
37 undone

365 days left

November 25, 2013 will be the last day of my 1001 days.  It seems reasonable that I stop for a bit and take stock at what is left, what I think will get done and what might not.  Of the 15 items on the list that are in progress I am hopeful that they will move to the done column by this time next year.  It is the 37 items that are not done that are what I am looking at a little more closely.

There are some that will be easily taken care of.  Buying a lottery ticket, paying for someone's Starbucks, playing bingo, cake decorating class...those are just a matter of scheduling or doing.

There are some that are already scheduled, we are going to Sunriver for New Years and are planning on going skiing, Christmas is coming so the gingerbread house is going to turn into a themed party (2 birds, 1 stone) and Taelin is going to have to share the Santa picture this year.

There are some that just aren't going to happen...kayaking in Hawaii (unless I win the lottery) or getting new bedroom furniture.  There are just some things that happened (kitchen remodel, back surgery, Disneyland) and there is just only so much money.  This is especially true with Joe's bank uncertainty.

And then there are those that I look at and just kind of don't want to do anymore.  Those honestly are the hardest ones for me think about.  At the time of making the list they sounded like a fun/cute/good idea but now I just feel like I want to spend my time differently.  Writing a fan letter, doing a word find, using chopsticks, juggling 3 balls....I suppose I could do them but they just don't sound super inviting.  Do I do them anyway or can I abandon them?  There are things that I have done that weren't on the list that I have been in the spirit of the list and in some ways I think that is more important.  The 100 snapshot photography challenge is a perfect example.  Put it on my list to make me take more pictures but I now find myself six months into a photo a day challenge that I never intended.  Still thinking on that...

One thing is for sure.  I am having a great time and I am looking forward to this next year.  There are some big things coming up this year!  A trip to Yellowstone Park, a drive in movie, a full day at the beach, and glass blowing just to name a few.  What a year it will be!

 

Sunday, November 25, 2012

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. ~K.T. Jong

It started out like this....


And ended up like this!


And I did it all by myself!

A few weeks ago, Joe had to work unexpectedly during the night and after Taelin was in bed, I found myself in a strange place...looking for something to do.  I fiddling around on the computer for a little bit, pushed some scrapbook paper around, and picked up and put down a book before I remembered the puzzle that I bought way back when I first made my list.  I cleared off one of the tables I have for scrapbooking and set myself to the task of building the puzzle.  

I remember there were times during my childhood that we would have a puzzle going and there have been times when on vacation at a rental house where we will tackle a puzzle but it isn't something that I have going on at home.  There is an element of bringing order to the chaos that I appreciate about puzzles, but there is also a point where there doesn't seem to be a way to contain all the chaos (usually after the border is done and the obvious chunks are taken care of) that I tend to wander away from a puzzle.  

I worked for a few hours the first night and then again the next night for a little while but then got to the point that wasn't easy anymore and didn't come back to it for a few weeks.  But last week I found myself again with some time (this time a sick kid that was actually napping in the middle of the day for a HUGE chunk of time) and I got back to it.  I got some more things sorted and those pieces that I was so sure didn't belong the the puzzle I was working on actually ended up fitting somewhere.  A few more nights (one that had me up until 1:00 and "watching" Karate Kid 2 twice in a row) and I was finished.  

As I worked I did have some time to let my mind wander which was welcome.  There have been some occasions where I think I give up too easily, a reaction to the times that I didn't give up and should have just surrendered way before I did, and as I worked on the puzzle I thought about how delicate that balance is.  When do you decide to do something different when what you are doing isn't working?  When is it "giving up" and when is it "moving on"?  When is it "quitting" and when is it "trying something different"? When is it "you have a responsibility to others" and when is it "you have to take care of yourself"?  

All that time thinking has helped me reach some clarity and I think I would eventually gotten to the same place but without that time unplugged from my to-do lists and responsibilities I am not sure when that time would have been.  I am feeling at peace with my decision and so far, even though there are some uncomfortable parts to it and more to come, it has made a difference.  

It seems like from the last couple of paragraphs that it was all super serious thinking time, which I can assure you it wasn't.  Particularly during the evening that I watched Karate Kid 2 twice there were some pretty awesome karate moves and some sweet dancing to montage when Ralph Macchio and Yukie were flirting their way through the Japanese coast.  (It is on Netflix streaming for those of you that now just have to go watch it.)

All to say that I enjoyed doing the puzzle.  I may even go out and get another one after awhile.  I don't think I would particularly enjoy doing the same puzzle twice so I don't think I am going to go crazy getting a lot of puzzles but I am glad that I did it and will surely do it again!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Photo A Day Nov 5-18, 2012


And just like that Thanksgiving is 3 days away.  I was traveling last Monday to Chicago so I didn't get a chance to put up photos and now when I look back at November 5, it seems like such a long time ago!  The next few days will be filled with getting ready for Thanksgiving and thinking about getting ready for Christmas.  I am planning on doing the December Daily again and worked on that calendar a little bit last night.  I might take part in a little Black Friday shopping later in the day on Friday if there is something that I just have to get, but for now I am trying to not get too ahead of myself and just enjoy this week.  So, before I get too far into this week, I figured I better take care of some of the things lingering out there...this blog post being one of them!

nov 5, 2012

nov 6, 2012
(I took a picture of a Romney sign just in case I needed it...but I didn't!)

nov 7, 2012
nov 8, 2012
On the road for work
nov 9, 2012
I am sending daddy a text to tell him that I love him and I miss him when he is at work.
nov 10, 2012
nov 11, 2012
nov 12, 2012
nov 13, 2012

nov 14, 2012

nov 15, 2012

nov 16, 2012
"welcome" flowers from Taelin

nov 17, 2012

nov 18, 2012

A good snapshot stops a moment from running away. ~Eudora Welty

I thought that I was doing a pretty good job of managing all of the photos I have been taking in the past year, but as I get ready to put some things together for Christmas I have come to realize I could have done better.  We have some of our photos in multiple places but not all of our photos together in multiple places.  Joe has worked his magic so that when the media center hasn't been active in a while, it pulls from our photos randomly and it is fun because we get to see photo from all sorts of different times and places in our lives.  But since I have started managing more of the photos his magic hadn't connected with my organization...until this weekend.

It is going to take TWO days to copy and duplicate all the photos between Dropbox (we bought extra space) and our home server but as they are trickling in they are getting added to the rotation of photos on the screen.  This post is actually probably going to take me longer than it should because I keep glancing up and watching the photos fade in and out.  I just saw a picture of me reading a story to Taelin last summer and then it jumped to her at about 6 months old with a huge toothless grin.  And then there was a sweet picture of her just days old sleeping on my chest. I can't help but feel grateful for my life.

It seems reasonable that this time of year that a person takes extra care to think about what they are grateful for, but I can honestly say that even though my "one little word" this year has been 'peace', a lot of what has helped me think about 'peace' is feeling thankful for what I have, where I am, and who I am with.  (I just saw a picture from the kitchen remodel a year ago...what a fun time that was!)

I am certainly not the world's best photographer and I don't want to be.  And while I could list all the great things that we did this year (and we did a lot of great things), what I am most grateful for right now is that I captured a lot of those moments with my camera.  Some of them are better than others; too much light or not enough light, blurry or the wrong thing in focus but in the middle of all of those are the gems that take my breath away and transport me back to that exact moment.

Most of the pictures, no surprisingly, have been since Taelin has joined our life.  But there are a few from before and Joe has a huge bucket of pre-digital photos that will eventually be scanned and folded in the bunch.  Some are from Joe's childhood because John was diligent about getting most of those photos in years ago.  (When he was in the middle of project, John would send me whatever worst/best picture of Joe he came across.  All I can say about that is that Joe is lucky that Facebook wasn't around 10 years ago when John was working on that project!)

But still there is no denying, just looking at that sheer volume of pictures, how much joy and fullness Taelin has brought into our lives.  These years are going quickly, too quickly if you ask me, but thanks to my cameras and my insistence on bringing them everywhere, all of those moments have been been stopped from running away.

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.  ~Jean Baptiste Massieu

Taelin's First Thanksgiving
2009

Saturday, November 17, 2012

These Things Hidden by Heather Gudenkauf

This book has been on my radar for awhile.  I bought the book when Borders went out of business last year because the cover just grabbed me.  I should have read this book the day I bought it.  It was incredible.

I read this entire book in one sitting.  It helped that I was on the plane flying back from Chicago but I am positive that I would have stayed up later or woken up early or both in order to finish this book if I were at home.

This book is about secrets and the the effects that these secrets can have.  The author introduces 4 women and as the book progresses we find out how the secrets they have impacted each other, in positive and negatives ways.  And while their secrets have impacted others, the author does an amazing job of showing the reader how the secrets have haunted the secret holders themselves. I really don't want to reveal any of the plot so if you want to know more, head over to Goodreads and read the blurb about it.  

There are some pretty sensitive subjects in this book. I can think of a couple of people that I don't think should ever read it, it would just be too difficult.  I was reading this book on the plane with two of my co-workers I don't know if they thought it was funny or irritating because there were at least 4-5 times that I literally had to put the book down after gasping because I could not believe what was happening.  I was lucky at one point because they were both sleep as I had tears rolling down my face.  It was simply amazing. I finished it and just handed it straight to my boss without any words and then just sat there for the last 30 minutes of my flight. I wish that Goodreads had a way for me to rate it higher than a 5 so I didn't feel like I should go back and rate all the 5's I already have down to 4's just to make it clear how much this book stands apart.


Night Road by Kristin Hannah

I am feeling really lucky for some of the books that I have been reading lately.  They have all been fantastic and I am loving the time I am finding for reading.  (The floors in my house disagree, but they don't get to vote.  They can get cleaned later.)

One of the books that I started before I left for Chicago and finished on my trip (when there isn't a house to clean, a family to spend time with or things to cook) was Night Road by Kristin Hannah. Hannah has written many novels and they are all now on my "to-read" Goodreads list.

This book I think is really broken up into two parts.  The first part follows Jude, a mother of twins Mia and Zach, through the high school years.  Jude is the kind of mother she wishes she would have had and is definitely what would be considered a "helicopter" mom.  Another young girl, Lexi who has a sad past, moves into town and is forever intertwined with Jude, Mia and Zach.

The second part of the book follows the characters after a horrible tragedy has struck.  While the first part of the book was great (there was a bit of heavy-handedness about underage drinking that took me out of the book), the second part of the book was amazing.  I stayed up until 2 in the morning (which wasn't wise considering a two hour time difference and an early morning wake up call) because I just could not stop turning the pages.  I HAD to find out what happened.

I had puffy eyes the next morning from the late night and the amount of crying I did but it was so worth it.  Looking again at the cover gives me chills and makes me want to read it all over again.

Monday, November 12, 2012

A few books I have been reading...

I currently find myself typing this post using my iPad (which is a little more difficult than my laptop) sitting in a hotel room in downtown Chicago. I am here only overnight and then am off to the New Teacher Induction Network fall conference for the next three days. Our time here is pretty much packed but I will say these few hours between being done for the day and going to bed are the loneliest when I am away from home. In a little bit I will probably settle in to read but thought I might come here (feel a little less lonely since it feels like I am having a conversation) and tell you about the last three books I have read.

Yep, the last three. If you have been wondering why the blog posts aren't plentiful it is because I have been reading up a storm.

The first book I have read recently was 11/22/63 by Stephen King. I am generally not a fan of the stuff that you think of when you first hear "Stephen King" because of the horror element that is in a lot of his writing but this book was much more sci-fi than horror. I will admit that it took me some time to get into this book but I was hooked after a little bit. Without going into a lot of the details I think the two things that I thought most about when
I was reading this book were 1) how little I actually know about JFK's assassination and 2) how just the littlest action could affect the future.

The second book I read recently was What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. Alice comes to after a head injury at the gym to find out that she has lost 10 years of her life to amnesia. As she tries to put things back together she starts to find that life has turned out much differently than she thought it would at 29. She doesn't remember any of her kids, why her marriage is falling apart or why her and her sister are so distant. In general it was an "ok" read but it did get me thinking about what a 10 year younger Jodie would think of me now? Or what I think I will be like in ten years? I am lucky that Joe and I have grown and changes together. Or is it luck? It definitely made me think...

The book that I just finished yesterday was The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grisson. It. Was. Incredible.

Set in the late 1700's to the early 1800's the book follows a young Irish girl who is brought to a plantation to work off a family debt and follows her through her life living and working with the slaves who call that plantation home. It is as she grows older that she realizes the color of her skin means something to the other people around her. She is pulled by two worlds and her loyalties are put the test.

This book was absolutely amazing. The characters were well developed and the events, while hard to read, held true to the time period. This book was the first by the author and she will be on my watch list for any new books that she might write.

And with that, I am off to read some more. The outside traffic noise has yet to quite (and it is 10:30) and the wind is blowing pretty hard so I have a feeling that a good book will be a welcome distraction.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Photo A Day Oct 29-Nov 4, 2012


This week was kind of a weird week.  Joe was doing an online class that was from 6 am to 2 pm everyday and was home while he did it.  He picked up Taelin every day last week which made it easier for me to keep working later, which wasn't necessarily a good thing!  Joe and Taelin spending time together was definitely a good thing; me working more...not so much.  My phone was once again my friend this week.  I did take some with my regular camera but when I am out and about, my phone wins the day for convenience!

What is interesting about this week is that I missed taking pictures at some bigger events.  Strange, isn't it!  Taelin's cousin had her 3rd birthday party and when I got home I hadn't taken one picture! We had a beautiful day on Sunday and played out the yard and took care of some the "getting the yard ready for winter" things and not one stinking picture of all that fun either!



oct 29, 2012

oct 30, 2012

oct 31, 2012
Happy Halloween!

nov 1, 2012
Sorry!

nov 2, 2012

nov 3, 2012

nov 4, 2012



The Next Thing On My List by Jill Smolinski

I just kind of happened upon this book, probably because of the title.  Once I started reading it was a little eerie. The main character, June, sets out to finish a list of a woman that was killed in a car accident.  Marissa, the woman who died, was riding in a car with June and after they were hit Marissa was thrown from the vehicle after unbuckling her seat belt to get a taco soup recipe on the way home from a Weight Watchers meeting.

June found Marissa's "20 things to do before I turn 25" list and decided that she was going to finish it for her.  The rest of the story is about June working on finishing the list.  We get to meet some of Marissa's family (some of the things on the list had to do with them) and we get to learn more about June as she works her way through the list.  Not too surprising, working through the list changed June's life in ways that she couldn't have expected.

About half way through I thought I had figured out how it was going to end, and to be honest, I was irritated by my prediction.  It would have been too tidy and not very realistic but I still expected it since I have been right in the past about endings of books like this one. I was wrong though and was very happy that I was.

Overall though, I thought this book was just ok.  I liked it just fine but didn't love it.  The writing was fine, the topic was something I connected to (obviously) but it was still just ok.  Maybe it is because I am on my own little list completing adventure that reading about some fictional list just wasn't as exciting. Who knows!



Insurgent by Veronica Roth

Awhile ago I read Divergent by Veronica Roth and I could not wait to read the second in the series, Insurgent.  Except that I did have to wait and I was a little cranky about the whole thing.  I finally just downloaded the book onto my iPad and I read it in two days!

It was a great follow up to the first book, pretty much picking up where the last one had left off.  Unlike many books in a series, Roth did not spend a lot of time reminding you of what happened in the first book. It was a good thing that I had just read the first one because there are a lot of characters to keep straight.  I will probably have to reread both of them again when the third one comes out.

I didn't enjoy this book as much as the first book but I still loved it. The story became more complex as characters and their relationships become more complicated.  I felt like the first book left me hanging but it was nothing compared to how this second book ended.

The only downside of this series is that I now have to wait until next fall (Fall 2013) for the last one to be published.