Wednesday, December 28, 2011

gloss: to provide a gloss for: define or explain

I was always told that you could never use the word when trying to define it, but I have to tell you that I have come across more examples of that then I expected when searching for new words.  I have used the word gloss before, but not in the way it was defined in the word of the day on http://www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day/.  Here is was defined as a verb that meant to explain or define something...ok, seriously this might be getting a little ridiculous.  It feels a little like Inception.

Anyway,  I don't really have a reason for choosing this word over another.  It was the word of the day and I thought it was interesting that I have used this word many different times, but was unaware that it had a completely different meaning.  Now, I know...and so do you.  There are some examples of how it was used at the link above if you are interested.  I don't have any more time to gloss it for you.

Ha...see how I did that....ok...I am going to go and get some sleep.

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. ~unknown

A few years ago, one of my good friends told me about her "word" for the year.  I don't even remember what word she picked, but the general idea behind it was to pick just one word that would become your focus for the new year; kind of like a New Year's resolution without the specificity that could potentially lead to a broken self-promise.  It sounded like a neat idea, but for whatever reason I didn't get around to picking a word.

Then the other day when I was reading one of the message boards I frequent, I saw a thread started by someone who was trying to decide what her "one little word" was going to be for the year.  Apparently this concept has been around in the blogging world for awhile, which is probably where my friend first heard of it.  This particular post on the message board has now turned into a multi-page thread where different women are sharing the words they are considering for their word this year. People are picking all different kinds of words for lots of different reasons; focus, gratitude, simplify, healthy, content, smile, adventure, persistence, rebuild...just to give a few examples. Because of that thread, I have started to think that I might need "one little word" this year.

So what might my word for this year be?  Needing a word started me out on a hunt for a quote that might inspire me.  Nothing I found was floating my boat until I remembered that I have a Pinterest board that is nothing but quotes.  I went over to reread some of the quotes that have struck me for one reason or another over the past few months and found a quote and my "one little word" all at the same time.

     Peace. 
It does not mean to be in a place where there is
 no noise, trouble or hard work.  
It means to be in the midst of those things 
and still be calm in your heart. 
~unknown

It is perfect for me right now.  I already know that there are going to be troubles and hard work in this coming year.  I have a toddler. I have a job in a school district that is cutting between 20-25 million dollars.  I have friendships and family relationships that aren't always easy.  I have personality flaws that lead to self-struggle and problems.  There is going to be plenty of noise, trouble and hard work...there always is.

The difference this year though is that I would like there to be a little more calm in my being as I work through the noise and the trouble.  There is a scattered feeling that I can't even really put into words that has seemed to follow me the last few years.  It doesn't get in the way of me doing things, but it certainly leaves me feeling drained and exhausted.  In place of this scattered feeling, I would like to feel more peace.

I looked up the definition of "peace" in the dictionary and there were several.  The first three do a good job of what I am hoping to find more of this coming year.

Definition of peace:

1. a state of tranquility or quiet;
2. freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; 
3. harmony in personal relations.

I am not sure how I am going to go about acquiring this peace I am looking for.  I think I might first make or find some visual reminders of my word to have in the different spaces I occupy throughout my days.  Also, I don't want to commit to it completely yet, but I am also playing around with the idea of a monthly check-in here, although my guess is that if I truly work on making this word my mantra for the year it will probably pop up here more than just once a month.  I am not really sure, I guess that might be why it will take me all year (and probably then some).

I think for now, I am just going to think about it for awhile.  Luckily, I have a few more days of Christmas break and while there are a few things I would like to get done before going back to work, there isn't anything really pressing.  

Are you interested in joining me?  What might your "one little word" be for this coming year?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

mercurial: characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood

I am sure it is the combination of being sick and the excitement of Christmas and all that goes with that, but Taelin's mood the last few days has been so mercurial that I am finding it a tad exhausting.

For the most part, she has been her happy, sing-through-the-day self.  Her epic meltdown at Fred Meyer's, the cause of which I can't even remember anymore, surely had more than one stranger questioning my parenting skills.  Her stalling tactics when not wanting to do whatever it is that we want her to do are becoming quite elaborate. Her insistence of "doing it myself" frustrates my need to hurry when we are running late.

I do have to say, for the record, that these last week since I have been off has been a lot of fun (for the most part).  We have baked cookies, visited Santa, played games, sang songs, and read Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer over and over.  We have danced, went shopping, wrapped presents and have redecorated the tree several times.  Her imagination is taking off lately and we have run from crocodiles, had a couple of picnics and several well attended tea parties.

I suppose it is all part of exerting her independence and in it's own way is kind of cute.  (Except the Fred Meyer's thing...there was nothing cute about that.)  We all have our moments, good and bad, but I think the thing that has me a bit baffled at times is the recovery time for her.  She can go from happy, to freaking-out-frustrated, and back to happy in a matter of minutes.  I, on the other hand, have not learned the recovery skills needed to keep up with her.  I guess that it my problem, not really hers, isn't it?

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A photo....or three.

Here is number 69 of my 100 snapshots.   (Learn more here to find out about 100 snapshots, which is number 68 my list.) There are way too many numbers in the post for me....so, here are the photos.

69. Reflection


And because I just can not resist sharing....


Christmas Traditions

It seems like there a lot of things on my list, relatively speaking, that have something to do with the Christmas season.  My December Daily book (which will hopefully get put together before going back to work), making gingerbread houses, pictures with Santa....  I guess they are all my attempt at trying to start things that Taelin will maybe want to do year after year.   I don't have a lot of traditions that "have" to be done this time of year; I guess my family just didn't have many of them when I was growing up.

Another thing on my list was baking and decorating sugar cookies.  This one wouldn't have necessarily had to have been done around the holiday season, but for the sake starting traditions, Taelin and I rolled up our sleeves and got to work.

Here is her cutting some out....



Here is a picture that actually doesn't do justice to the amount of sprinkles and decoration that were used...

Some of the finished product...

And the inevitable conclusion....

We had a great time with another friend who thankfully took some of the cookies home.  I have a weakness for sugar cookies so it helps that we only have a few and that we are saving some of them for Santa....although I have an "in" with Santa and he said he would share one of the cookies with me on Christmas Eve.  I was a lot of fun and Taelin has already asked to do it again! 

Monday, December 19, 2011

Italian Beef

There is a message board that I frequent that has a recipe that has been making the rounds.  It is a recipe for Italian Beef to make Italian Beef sandwiches.  The one thing that had me hesitating to make it is that it used a really fatty piece of beef in a crockpot and then shredded it in it's own juices.  Probably really yummy...not so good for us.  Then one day I was looking in the freezer for what I had and came across a flank steak.  Not usually something that would be used in the crockpot, but perfect for trying this recipe.

Ingredients:
1 Tbsp dried onion flakes
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp parsley
1 clove of garlic, minced
1/4 cup of water
1/4 cup of pepperoncinis
1 lb flank steak

Directions:
1. Mix first 7 ingredients in the crockpot. Add flank steak to mixture.
2. Turn crockpot on high for 6 hours.  Turn meat over occasionally.
3. After the 6 hours is up, shred the meat in the crockpot.

I served the meat on toasted rolls with grilled onions and peppers.  I broiled provolone cheese after adding everything on the roll.  It was REALLY, REALLY yummy and super easy!  I will definitely be making this again!

The Nutcracker

For some reason, still unknown to me, I have wanted to see The Nutcracker since I was a little girl.  I must have seen something during the Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade one year or maybe it just seeps into your being when you wear ballet slippers.  Whatever it was, I have wanted to go for years.  I think one year I may have hinted to Joe that I would like it for a Christmas present but now that I know him better it was kind of foolish for me to think that he would purposefully go to the ballet with me. If I would have outright asked him he would've gone, but that's not what I did.

Well, this year is the year that I finally made it!  A dear friend agreed to go with me and we went to an afternoon performance.  We had a great time out at lunch first and then I got lost in downtown Portland trying to find a parking spot.  Once I figured out where I was going, we got to the auditorium and found our seats.  I purposefully chose a performance with a live orchestra.  I have to say that my heart was a little homesick as a heard the instruments warming up. (maybe something to do with my clarinet needs to go on my next 101 list...)

The performance was absolutely wonderful.  I think my favorite scene was the one right before intermission.  The effect of the snow on the the floor as the dancers performed...it was amazing.

It was over before I knew it.  There were quite a few families there and lots of little girls in Christmas dresses.  I am going to have to restraint myself to not take Taelin earlier than she would appreciate it; she is certainly too young right now.  But next year?  Maybe....

Sunday, December 18, 2011

lexicology: the study of the formation, meaning, and use of words and of idiomatic combinations of words

So, this whole "learn a new word every week" thing isn't working out as I thought it would.  I think I might need to start reading books for pleasure again because that is where I run into words I don't know.  This picking a random word I don't know is not doing much for truly building my vocabulary.  Or maybe it is just that lexicology isn't that exciting to me....  Either way, I already replaced one of my goals with this goal so kind of like a white elephant gift, I can only replace it so many times.  I guess I will just need to figure out how to make it more exciting!

Here is to next week...and the amazing new word I will share!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

100% Tip

In the last few months I have started to do something that I never thought I would do...get massages.  I know it might sound crazy to those of you that are massage fanatics, but it never was really something I was comfortable with.  About two years ago, I started to have trouble with my Achilles tendon.  I injured it trying to do too much exercise too soon and it has bothered me since.  I did physical therapy for awhile and it helped, but once I stopped going (because it was barely covered by insurance) the pain started up again.  

This fall I was talking to my favorite yoga instructor after a class and she asked me about my foot.  She had seen me having some trouble during a couple of poses and I shared with her pretty much what I just shared here.  She asked if I had ever had a massage therapist work on the area.  I hadn't and she said it might be something I should consider.  Apparently there can be some build up on the tendon that makes it more difficult and painful to move which then causes more build up that makes it more difficult and painful to move...you get the picture. 

So, with that recommendation and a painful foot, I called up and scheduled my first massage.  Let's just say I am hooked.  I have only gotten deep tissue massage because while I would like to just get relaxing, comfortable massages, I have some issues that need to be resolved to help me on my journey to becoming more healthy.  It doesn't always feel great while my massage therapist is doing the massage, but I feel amazing afterwards.  She is absolute amazing, makes me feel more than comfortable and has been a terrific source of advice as I try and figure out how to make my body work better than it does right now.

Which brings me to this blog post.  One of the things on my list was to "Leave 100% tip."  When I first put this on my list I just assumed that at some point I would come across a dynamite food server and at the end of my meal I would just double the bill.  Viola....and check.  But to be honest we aren't eating out as much as we used to and while we haven't come across any bad service really there hasn't been an experience that has screamed "TIP 100%!!"  Then a couple of weeks ago when my massage therapist had already spent 30 minutes with me before I even got on the table talking about ways to make accommodations to yoga poses based on my injury and then gave me a complete 60 minute massage with another 15 minutes of advice at the end, I knew I had found the right person to help me check on #21.

So this week, after my massage (which was utterly painful and awesomely wonderful at the same time) I paid my bill and left my normal tip.  Then I gave her a Christmas card with the 100%.  She and I have talked about my list before and while she didn't know about this specific one, she understands my purpose of going about completing this list.  I left a little note inside the card about how much I appreciate her above and beyond service.  I hope that she does something for herself with it, but she (as a single mom to a four year old) will probably do something for her daughter for Christmas.  It doesn't really matter to me what she does with it...all I know is that I left that afternoon with a smile on my face knowing that I probably made her day. 
 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Roasted Green Beans

Here I am again, calling something that could hardly be called a recipe, a recipe.  I have a lot of green beans in the freezer right now from this summer.  They are all packaged up thanks to my food saver and I have been pulling at least one package out a week.  Joe would much prefer canned green beans but I think they are too salty for us plus the beans I have in the freezer were ones that Taelin and I picked as a part of Salem Harvest.  We picked 10 lbs of beans one night...we got half of them to take home for free and the other half were donated to the local food bank.  So, Joe isn't going to get his canned beans for awhile...sorry.

I got a cool little toaster oven for my birthday this year that was a life-saver when we were going through the kitchen remodel.  When the remodel was over, I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep the toaster oven on the counter or not...and then I started cooking again and it hasn't left it's spot.  It is great for a lot of things, but it is especially good for roasting vegetables when I have the oven otherwise occupied.  I looked up quite a few recipes and some of them were quite elaborate (apparently those people don't have toddlers to entertain) but I kept it simple.  

Ingredients:
1/2 lb of green beans
2 teaspoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon of kosher salt
1 clove of garlic, minced

Directions:
1.Trim the green beans however you like.  I just cut off the one end and left them longer.
2. Toss the beans with the olive oil, salt and garlic.
3. Roast at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes, until they start to brown.


They were ok like this, but the next time I make them I will probably do a little more to them.  Maybe some different kinds of spices to match what we are having as the main entree.  

nattering: to talk incessently

I know that people think I am a liar when they see Taelin in person, but that girl can talk.  She clams up when she is around people, even those she knows pretty well, with but a few exceptions.

Perhaps it is just the way with 2 year old girls, but her nattering has taken on a whole new level in the past couple of weeks.  I love it all, even when it is too much.  I would say about half the time she is actually talking to someone and the other half...well, who knows.  Sometimes it is like she is her own little Twitter feed, which is a joke that we have been making for awhile now but has taken a whole new meaning on.

I need to be better about writing some of her gems down.  There have a been a couple of hilarious stories of late involving body parts that need to be preserved for later embarrassment.  And then there are the sweet things I swear I will remember forever, but surely won't.  For instance, when one of us tells her we love her she replies, "I love you too either."

Even though things have been so busy, I try to remember to stop and really listen when she is talking to me.  People say that the time just flies by and I thought I understood what they meant by that.  But I realize now that I don't...which makes me realize that I probably really don't understand yet. It is easy to get caught up in all the things that life throws at us...or the things we stick ourselves in the middle of...but I need to anchor myself in what is important.  And right now, what's important is the nattering of a two-year old.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. ~Edward Everett Hale

Oh, how I need to remember this quote.  I need to write it on sticky notes and put it everywhere; my car, my bathroom mirrors, my refrigerator, my calendar.  If I wasn't so bloody afraid of needles, I could get it tattooed on my hand.  

I tend to be a big picture person.  I can be pretty detailed orientated when I need to be, but am more of a global thinker.  This character trait, in many cases, would be seen as a strength. It is important when working within a group of people that there are people that can zoom out and not get caught up in the minute details that often bog down a group.  But right now, my "ability" to think globally is not serving me...at all.

We are in an interesting time in public education and specifically, the school district in which I work.  I suppose there hasn't ever really been an uninteresting time in education, but right now there seems to be some particularly interesting things going on.  Without going into all the details of what I have been thinking about (ha...details of a big picture...I am screwed), I just want to say that often times I feel very powerless.  I am paralyzed by the fact that there is SO much to do and less resources to do it with; I feel like I don't even know where to start.  Then there are other times, the times that I am working really hard to make a difference and I feel like it doesn't.  I really don't know which is worse.  What I do know, is that neither feels good.

After a particularly odd experience today where I found myself unable to complete a sentence in front of one of the Assistant Superintendents of our district because I started to cry, I felt like I was just ready to give up.  And, in a way, I think I might need to.

I don't think I need to give up completely and start applying at Starbucks (although I have made that "joke" more than I probably should), but I think I might be on to something.  One of the things that probably should have made this list, the 10 things that I don't like about myself, but didn't is that I tend to see things in black and white; all or nothing.  I know in my heart that isn't true, but in times of distress it is like I go back to default.  In this case, maybe if education can't be what I want it to be I just need to quit.  Quitting clearly isn't an option (or something I really want) but I think I do need to "give up" on a few things.

What I realized today is that I have amazing co-workers.  When I couldn't finish my sentence today, someone jumped in for me and said the exact thing I wanted to say myself.  Later after I gained some composure, I went on for way too long to try to make a point but luckily another co-worker followed up with his own point that punctuated mine.  After the meeting, I rambled some more and they all listened, all of them.  Nobody made me feel more crazy than I already did or like I was over-reacting.  They shared kind words that told me I wasn't the only one that felt the way I did and gave me their outsider's view and some things to think about.

In addition to a great support at work, I can't forget Joe.  He has been asking me for days if I am okay; that I seem out of sorts.  I start to try to process and it just comes out in one big mess.  He just lets it be the mess it is...and asks me more questions the next day.  I say one thing one day and I completely contradict myself the next.  He wants me to happy, nothing more and nothing less.  I am a lucky lady

So, I have made a decision after today.  I am not quitting.  I have too much to offer.  But, I am going to give up just a little bit.  I am going to give up trying to have all the answers to the problems I see.  I am going to give up just seeing the problems.  I am going to give up being blind to the fact that I make a difference everyday to someone at work.  I going to give up the fact that difference needs to be a big one.  I am going to give up needing to know what next year might bring...or even next month...and just look at one day.

This post has been written and rewritten, with different quotes as the title and different emotions as the body.  To be honest, rereading it makes me sound like one big hot mess and almost makes me not want to publish it.  It sounds like I need some sort of medication or at least a swift kick in the pants.  But I am giving up on it for now too.  I need to get to bed because I have a big day tomorrow.  I need to go do something tomorrow.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Chicken and Rice Casserole

The other night I was just feeling a little down in the dumps.  There are a lot of great things in my life that I am extremely grateful for, but I have been feeling a little weird about work for awhile now.  There is a blog post about that in the works, but it isn't quite ready yet...

Anyway, old habits seriously die hard, and the other week I was just craving some good old fashion comfort food.  One of my favorite dishes when I was a kid was baked chicken and rice casserole.  It was so creamy and warm...oh so good.  But, my mom made it usually with drumsticks or thighs (because that was the cheapest) and usually with the skins on.  She also used cream of celery soup, something that I haven't used for awhile.  So, that week, I decided that I was going to make it my mission to figure out how to make a healthier version of an old favorite.  Joe isn't a huge fan of casseroles, but he loves me and he loves chicken so I went ahead and took a chance.  I looked at a bunch of different recipes on www.allrecipes.com and www.cooks.com and came up with something that was simple and easy...and really, really yummy!

Ingredients
4 teaspoons of olive oil
1 cup of rice
1/2 cup of onions, chopped
1 clove of garlic, minced
10 oz of cream of celery soup (I used this homemade version.)
2 cups of water
4 3oz boneless, skinless chicken breasts
salt and pepper to taste

Directions
1. Heat olive oil in a pan and add the rice.  Cook the rice until it turns translucent.  
2. Add onions and garlic to the pan and cook a little longer.  The onions will become soft and the rice will begin to brown.  
3. In an oven safe casserole dish, combine the soup and water.  Once combined, stir in the rice, onions, and garlic from the pan.  
4. Lay the pieces of chicken on top, careful not to overlap.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper. (I suppose you could add any spice you wanted to at this point...)
5. Cover the casserole dish and bake in the oven at 375 for about an hour.  Take off the foil the last 15 minutes or so if you want to brown the top a little.  (Doing this will result in there being some crunchy rice at the edge of the pan that I have fond memories of my sister and I fighting over.)

I served this with roasted green beans and it was a complete meal.  A lot of recipes added a vegetable of some kind (asparagus, broccoli, peas, zucchini, etc) but I opted to keep it separate. It was exactly what I wanted it to be...just a little healthier than I remembered.  My lips didn't have that greasy smack that I remember having as a kid, but that is probably for the best!

frondescence: leafage; foliage

Last week was really the last week of brightly colored frondescence.  I knew it was coming, but this week the weather turned frosty, making it feel a little closer to Christmas but also forcing the last few leaves that clung onto the tree finally give up and fall to the ground.  And with that, we enter the time of year here in Oregon that is filled with rainy, wet days.  We will get a break here and there, but once the rain really starts it goes on for awhile.  The thing that I need to cling to myself, is that the rain is why it is so wonderfully green come spring...and I could be shoveling snow.    Bring it on Oregon winter...I have my Vitamin D and I am not afraid to take it!

Cream of Celery Soup

I grew up in a trailer raised by parents who originated from North Dakota and Minnesota.  There were A LOT of casseroles in my life growing up...and I loved it, mostly because I didn't know any different.  Chicken and rice casserole and tater tot casserole were my absolute favorites, but there was often a combination of meat, starch and vegi that was thrown together in a dish.  What makes a casserole a casserole though, really is the thing that binds it all together.  In my house, that was usually a can of cream of something.  You know what I mean, the red and white can of gelatinous goop that when mixed with milk and poured over the casserole contents made it a casserole.

Well, I found a couple of things out as I got older and started to cook on my own.  First, of all, that "soup" isn't actually soup.  If you try to read the list of ingredients on any kind of can of that "soup" you will find that out for yourself.  Second, there is a lot of fat and even more sodium in a can....a LOT.  Those two things, along with the fact that Joe isn't a huge casserole fan, made me pretty much stop the use of cream of anything.  But, every once and while, I feel the need for comfort food...and usually for me that is going to me a casserole.

I have come across several different versions of "homemade" cream of soups but for whatever reason never got around to trying it.  The other night though, I needed chicken and rice casserole, but I didn't have a can of the "soup"...which led me to finally making the homemade version on my own.

Cream of Celery soup

Ingredients:
1/2 cup chopped celery
2 Tablespoons butter
1/4 corn starch
2 cups of milk
2 cups of chicken broth
1 teaspoon of salt
1/2 teaspoon of pepper


Directions:
1. Saute the celery in the butter until the celery is softened.
2. In a separate container, combine the corn starch and the milk.
3. Slowly whisk in the corn starch and milk mixture into the celery and butter and mix until it gets thicker.  
4. Add the chicken broth slowly into the pan and whisk until it is all combined.  Add salt and pepper at this point.
5.  Cook for 4 minutes or so, stirring fairly constantly, as it boils and reaches its full thickness.

This version will not get as thick as the stuff that comes out of the can but I just used the same volume in the recipes I have it worked great.  A can is 10.5 oz. and I just used my measuring cup to measure that out and then I froze the rest in the same portions (or half of a portion).  

I am so happy that I finally tried it.  It worked great in my chicken and rice casserole, recipe to soon follow, and there are a few more things that I am excited to be able to make again with this recipe...it just makes it convenient to have it in the freezer and I can feel okay about eating it!  My chicken pot pie, crock pot pork chops, and creamy cheesy potatoes are all going to be able to come back!  :)

Monday, November 28, 2011

Shepherd's Pie

Leftover mashed potatoes...what to do, what to do?  I am not a huge leftover's fan unless I can re-purpose and turn it into something different than it was.  I am trying to be better, really I am, but the amount of mashed potatoes we had left from Thanksgiving required some outside the box thinking...which brought me to Shepherd's Pie.  

About 5 years ago, I went to Washington D.C. as a representative of Oregon Writing Project to lobby (I guess) for financial support.  There were two other people (that I had never met until going) from Oregon from different universities and so when I went I was all by myself.  I got in pretty late and it was dark and not knowing the area at all I wasn't about to venture out for dinner.  I was staying at a Irish themed hotel and so I ordered room service.  I ordered Shepherd's Pie and it was honestly one of the best things I have ever eaten. I had tried to make it before at home with ground beef, mashed potatoes and I think corn and once I ate the Shepherd's Pie from the hotel I never made it like that again. 

There are a lot of different recipes for Shepherd's Pie out there, most of them containing ground beef.  Joe isn't a huge ground beef fan unless it is burgers, meatloaf, meatballs or tacos and the one I eaten had the most tender beef chunks ever so I wanted something that replicated that.  If you don't know what it is, there is essentially two layers: the bottom layer that meat and vegetables with some kind of gravy and the top layer is mashed potatoes.  After looking at a few different recipes, here's what I came up with...

Ingredients
Bottom Layer:
olive oil
1 1/2 cup of carrots, coined
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves of minced garlic
1 lb stew meat
1 tablespoon of flour
1 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
28 oz can of diced tomatoes
1 cup of Coke
1/2 cup of peas

Top Layer:
4 cups leftover mashed potatoes
1/3 cup sour cream
1/4 cup cheddar cheese
1 cup of milk
Directions:
Bottom Layer
1. Saute the carrots, onions and garlic in a little olive oil until the carrots are softened but before the garlic burns.  (Still getting used to my gas stove....have no idea how long that took.) Remove from pan and set aside.
2. Add a little more olive oil to the pan and then add the stew meat browning it on all sides.
3. Once the meat is browned, add the flour and spices.  Cook for 2-3 minutes to get rid of the flour taste.
4. Add back in the carrots, onions, and garlic as well as the diced tomatoes.  Cook for a few minutes.
5. Add 1 cup of Coke (or whatever cola you have) and turn down to a simmer for 30 minutes.
6. Add peas after 30 minutes and then take off the heat.
 
During the 30 minutes the bottom layer is simmering...prepare the top layer.
1. Combine and reheat the mashed potatoes, cheese, sour cream and milk.  (You could probably do without the cheese and sour cream but the cheese was low-fat and the sour cream was fat free and it makes it oh-so-good!)

Once the two layers are ready....
*This recipe as it is would fit into a 9 x 13 pan but there are only 2 of us that really eat. Taelin is hit and miss when it comes to eating what we eat and plus I have already discussed my feelings about leftovers and a 9 x 13 pan would make a lot of leftovers.  Last year I purchased two smaller casserole dishes that if put together are the same size as a 9 x 13 pan that work really well when I am making a recipe that will freeze well.  One gets eaten right away and the other ends up in the freezer for some other night.  Same amount of work...a much easier night down the road!

Anyway...once the two layers are done put the bottom layer into the casserole dish/es and spread evenly.  Then spoon the potatoes on top. You have to be careful when you do this because what you want is an even layer of mashed potatoes on the top. In order to do this, I put smaller spoonfuls all over the bottom layer and just spread them out that way.  

Once the mashed potatoes are evenly spread, bake the whole dish in the oven to bake for about 20-30 minutes. Everything is pretty much cooked but you do want to leave it in long enough so that the potatoes brown a little bit, kind of like forming a crust.  

The Verdict:
Overall, it was pretty good.  It took a long time to make and I was lucky that Joe was home and that it was a Sunday when I made this.  I could make this again as is and would be happy....however, next time I might do two things a little differently.

First, I would probably just used shredded beef from either leftover pot roast or the shredded beef I keep in the freezer.  There just wasn't enough beef per bite and it took a really long time to prepare as it stands.  Using what I already have saves me time and in the case of using leftover pot roast...it uses leftovers! (I could even see me purposefully planned pot roast and something else with mashed potatoes in the same week so that I could later make Shepherd's Pie.)

Second, the coke made it a little sweeter than I wanted it to be.  I could see either cutting the coke in half and using beef broth to make up the other half OR using a Guinness if I had it.    

I wasn't near as a good as the one I had in Washington D.C. but maybe that is alright! 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Balsamic Garlic Pork Tenderloin

I have been trying to branch out a little with cooking because I realized as I was menu planning one week that there was a lot of chicken and a lot of beef, a little bit of meatless meals and that was it.  So, I went off to see if I could find some pork recipes.  When looking for recipes, it is important to me to have lean meat because it is healthy and it is important to Joe because he can't stand any kind of fat on his meat. (I don't really like picking through the fat either...but for Joe it is a texture thing I think.)


Anyway, I went off searching on Pinterest and found a recipe for pork tenderloin that basically marinates all day long.  I made a few changes to the marinade to make it a little more healthy and it came out wonderfully!  Joe really liked and Taelin kept asking for more and more...so it is definitely going into the rotation. 


Ingredients
1 lb pork tenderloin
1 tsp salt
3 tsp of minced garlic
1 Tbsp of olive oil
1/4 tsp of black pepper
2 Tbsp of balsamic vinegar

Directions
1.Combine and mix well, all the ingredients except the pork. Once they are mixed well, add the pork. (I just used a glass bowl with plastic wrap over the top.  
2. Marinate for at least 6-8 hours, turning the pork occasionally.
3. In a oven safe pan, sear the outside of the pork on each side.  Then transfer to an 400 degree oven for 20-30 minutes.  (internal temperature should be 160 degrees)
4. Let rest for 10 minutes before slicing.  

We had spinach salad along with the pork and when Taelin saw me pour some balsamic vinegar on my  salad, she asked for some of the "dip dip".  ("Dip dip for those of you that don't know is any kind of sauce that something might be dipped in.  Ketchup was the original "dip dip" but there are many varieties; salsa is "spicy dip dip", mustard is "yellow dip dip", A-1 sauce is "tangy dip dip" are just a few. I know I should probably correct her and tell her the real names of all the things she is eating but it is too bloody cute.  I promise that before she has to go to school and potentially be embarrassed by calling something by the wrong name that I will rectify the problem.)

Anyway, Taelin dipped each piece of the pork she ate in the balsamic vinegar which got me thinking that the next time I make it, it might be kind of nice to make some kind of reduced sauce for the pork.  I thought it had great flavor all on it's own without anything extra.  I think it would be even better grilled and probably would have done that originally had it not been pouring down rain.  There will probably be different variations of this dish along the way, but it is definitely a keeper!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

impedimenta: baggage or other things that retard one's progress, as supplies carried by an army

So, not too surprisingly, I was correct in thinking that once my classes at Willamette started up that Wordy Wednesday would get pushed all around.  However, I am still going to try and aim for Wednesday's and am going to try and plan ahead for the next few weeks.  This week though I am late...4 days late.  I guess better late than never?

This week the remodel is finally finished!!!!  I am so excited to have it all done but the big chore of putting everything back together was...well...a big chore.  I thought through the years that I had done a good job of decreasing the amount of "stuff" we have but I am finding that isn't really the case.  We had to pile a lot of things in other rooms so this little remodel feels like it has turned into one big house reorganization. I really do feel like all the impedimenta that has piled up in the guest room/garage/closets is making this whole thing even more difficult.  I am really trying to subscribe to the "a place for everything and everything in it's place" philosophy.  Apparently right now the bed in the guest room is the place for many things.

I have purposefully scheduled a gingerbread house decorating party for next Saturday which will force me to keep working instead of closing the door and pretending that everything is clean.  I know I have promised already, but I really do promise pictures of all the changes once I get everything in it's place!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. ~Winston Churchill

I have dreamed about writing this blog post....for a long while. I never really got very far into writing it in my dream, but I imagined myself sitting down to write it, and it is finally here.

I am proud to say that at my weigh-in tonight, I lost 3 pounds.  And with that loss, I officially have lost a total of 100 pounds.

It has not been easy.  It has been a humbling, and at times, a humiliating journey.  There have been times I have wanted to give up.  There are times I did give up.   If you had asked me 2 1/2 years ago if I was going to be able to do it, I would have probably said, "Doubtful."  But somewhere, somehow, I found the courage and the strength to keep going.  I have beat myself and forgiven myself more than I can even remember.  But I did it....and I am not done yet.

But before I get too far ahead of myself, I want to celebrate a little.

I have lost 100 pounds.  It is crazy to think that I probably wouldn't be able to actually carry a 100 pound weight very far, but that I was carrying that every single day on my body.

I have lost 100 pounds.  And I have lost the hurt and shame I felt when I carried that 100 pounds with me.

I have lost 100 pounds.  It is easier to see myself; not just in the mirror but the what is really in my heart.

I have lost 100 pounds and it feels amazing.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Caruso's Italian Cafe & Wine Bar

I was making Chicken Marsala the other night for dinner and realized that I had not blogged about a new restaurant that I had gone to the end of October.  Looking back, I was probably pretty tired because it was just a week after Joe's surgery and at that point I was still getting up every four hours to make sure he was taking the right dosage of pain pills and muscle relaxants.  So grateful that time has passed...

Anyway, I had missed the September's Girls Night Out and was determined not to miss the October.  We headed out to Keizer because one of the 5 of us lives out there and is always coming into Salem.  I think Caruso's has been there for at least a few years, but because it is a bit of a drive Joe and I haven't ventured that way.  It is also very likely that it has only been in existence since Taelin has been born...and it is NOT a place I would take a small child.

It is a beautiful restaurant that reminds me a lot of a place you might go for an anniversary or Valentine's Day.  A place to get dressed up and have a quiet night away from the everyday hustle and bustle.  I had Chicken Marsala, which is why me cooking the other night reminding of this missing post.  It came with risotto and a spinach/Parmesan cake kind-of-thing.  I didn't eat the spinach/cake thing because I wasn't really interested in it and one of my friends thought hers was delicious...so off my plate it went!  I liked the dish okay, but decided that I am more partial to non-creamy Chicken Marsala.  The risotto was AMAZING...which means I have it on my "recipes I want to try" list.

I don't remember at this point what everyone else had, but I know that everyone was happy with their food.  There were really two drawbacks for us in terms of being a good place for our Girl's Night Out.  First was that they were only open from 5-9, so we shut the place down.  It just isn't designed to be a place where you can come and stay for a really long time.  The second, is that is a very quite restaurant.  Not bad if you were there staring into the eyes of someone your love....kind of bad if you want to tell hilarious stories about the inappropriate things our kids say!

Overall, pretty good food with a great atmosphere!

Roasted Carrot Coins

Joe is not a guy that likes a lot of vegetables.  When we first lived together I think canned corn and canned green beans were all that he would eat....green salad, sometimes.  I have been working on him and I have to say that he has come a long way.  At this point, he eats way more raw vegetables than cooked (which I think actually might be better for you) but usually I eat raw vegetables during the day and I like my dinner to be hot food.  So, I have been on the hunt for easy, vegetable sides that I can serve with dinner.  

There a lot of side dishes out there, but many of them have cream or butter or both and that just isn't going to fly in this house anymore.  Another trend I saw in vegetable recipes is that they had 12 ingredients and 20 steps, seriously...who has time for that?!?  So when I saw a recipe on Pinterest for Roasted Carrot Coins I knew I had to try it.  I hate to even call it a recipe because there are seriously only 4 ingredients and two steps...but I am counting it.  

I changed the amount of oil but other than that I used this recipe from what is actually a blog that focuses on helping get easy healthy recipes for kids while involving them in the kitchen.

Ingredients
2 cups of carrots, cut into coins
2 teaspoons of oil
1/4 teaspoon of paprika
1/4 teaspoon of course salt

Directions
1. Combine all the ingredients. (Hard to follow I know....)
2. Roasted in oven for 30 minutes at 400 degrees.  (I actually used my toaster oven and they were done in 20 minutes)

They got a thumbs up from Joe!  In the rotation they go....

10 things I don't like about myself....and a few ideas I have to change.

     Number 9 on my list is to list 10 things that I don't like about myself and figure out a way to improve on them.  It comes right at Number 8, which is to list 50 things that I do like about myself.  Apparently I was wanting to look somewhat fair, but luckily decided to focus on the good more than the bad...which actually is a tad surprising given number 4 on the following list.  Anyway, for some reason the other night I started to think about making up this list.
     I was able to come up with 7 things rather quickly.  Some of them are things I have already wrestled with a little bit here on this blog...others, I haven't.  I am not sure if the things I am going to list are things that other people would list about me or if there are some that I am missing.  Probably...
   
Anyway, here are the 10 things (I suppose you could call it a Top Ten list) that I don't like about myself and hopefully a little bit of an idea on how to improve them.


Number One: I am too judgmental of others/situations
     This one came right away.  It is honestly one of the biggest things that makes me crazy about myself.  I know from where this particular little gem of my personality originates, which is why I think drives me more nuts than anything else.  At this point, I am pretty good at catching myself doing it and stopping my thinking, which is at least something I guess but I would really just like to not be this way.  This particular one is going to be a toughie to overcome though.


Number Two: I commit to too much.
    I used to be a huge workaholic.  It was nothing to work 10-12 hour days (or sometimes more).  I loved being the person that people came to when they needed something done.  I didn't know how to say no and honestly, I didn't really want to.  Having Taelin has certainly helped with that in the work department (mostly), but there are still other aspects of my life where I tend to over commit. I need to think of Nancy Reagan and "Just Say No!"  I have gotten better, but need to keep working on it...mostly because committing to too much or saying no leads to number 3.


Number Three: I feel way too guilty, way too often.
    Let me clear it up right now that over committing is not the only thing that can lead to guilt.  It is kind of a square/rectangle thing; you know, all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. I do try really hard not to feel guilty about things so much....but it doesn't always work and then I feel bad...ack!  See, it is a horrible, horrible cycle!  Not all guilt is bad really, if there is something that I really did screw up it would be reasonable to feel bad about it, like a missed meeting or forgetting to do something I said I would do.  But even then, I guess I really need to start thinking about what purpose that guilt really serves? If other people are willing to forgive me (which is usually the case) maybe I should work on extending myself the same courtesy.


Number Four: I too often see the glass half empty instead of half full.
   I actually think I am getting better about this one, largely in part because of my list and this blog.  BUT, there are still times (especially in those of stress) where I go back to the default of pessimism.  I need to work on making my default optimism.  We are actually talking about this every month at work.  I have a sticky note on my computer monitor at work that says "Gratitude not Griping" and "Spend Time with the Right People."  I am working on it...

Number Five: My weight
   This is probably fairly obvious to any kind of regular reader of his blog.  I have a plan and I am working on it.  And that is all I have to say about that.


Number Six: Plays it safe most of the time
    I am not a risk taker...at all. In some ways this doesn't really bother me, BUT I know it bothers other people (in particular my husband) so it is something that I am trying to be better about.  It is the planner in me that doesn't like to take risks.  For some reason I feel like if I make a decision, then I have to stick with it.  Most of the time, that isn't the case.  Safety, emotional and physical, is important...but not always at the cost of missing out.  It is surely a balance...one that I will continue to stretch myself achieving.

Number Seven: I holds grudges, sometimes without the people really knowing it.
    This particular personality flaw needs some work.  Letting go of things is really hard for me, especially if I feel that me or someone I love has been wronged in some way.  I am not really talking about completely cutting people out of my life (although that has happened...for the better, I think) but I guess just not completely trusting someone again after something has happened.  It is much more internal than external, luckily, but there are many people in my life that have show me forgiveness for past transgressions, perhaps I need to work on that a little more.  I just remembered this little post...clearly this is something I need to continue to work on.


Number Eight: Get unreasonable annoyed by very vocal religious people, no matter the faith.
    Honestly, this is probably the most ridiculous and embarrassing one on the list.  It should make NO difference to me what people believe and how they choose to share that belief.  I, probably solely based on my own experience, feel very cynical about the whole idea of faith and religion and really just need to get over it.  Even Facebook status updates can make me roll my eyes...it is not cool.  I just need to work on just letting it pass me by.  I have tried to avoid too much talk about faith on this blog because I know it is an important part of other people's lives, but I can't be honest about this list without having this a part of it.  


Number Nine:  I worry too much.
    I worry way too much about just about everything.  And then I worry about worrying about too much.  It isn't a sort of thing where I need to medicated or anything, but there isn't a day that goes by that I haven't worried about at least a handful of things.  Some are reasonable to worry about, others not so much.  But regardless of whether they are big or little, worrying about them hasn't gotten me much other than a headache (and feeding my pessimism).  I don't think it is reasonable to stop worrying about things altogether, but I certainly could reduce my worrying a little bit.  


Number Ten: I am too hard on myself.
    So, if you have stuck with me this long you might remember at the beginning of this post that I said that there were seven things that I came up with pretty quickly.  This was actually number seven until I read the partial list to Joe and asked if he could think of anything else he knew I would want to put on the list.  He looked at me after I said this one and said, "I don't really know but I think being too hard on yourself might need to be number 10."  Hmm...well...yes, maybe.  I am a little self-critical but also want to make sure that I am continuing to try to make myself a better mother, wife, friend and overall person. 


I guess cutting myself a break and a little self-forgiveness might serve me a little bit in working on this list.  I mean, really, who would want to be my friend after reading this list!  Yikes!!!!!!  Okay, I promise in the next week I will work on a better kind of list that would want people proud to know me.  But, I also think it is important to see the things in ourselves we don't like (and are probably the things that other people don't like about us so much) and try to improve.


The greatest explorer on this earth never takes voyages as long as those of the man who descends to the depth of his heart. 
~Julien Green


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Blue, Growth, Child, Smile....The Beginning of 100 Snapshots

A little while ago I did some revising of my list.  One of the things I added was 100 Snapshots.  The idea is pretty simple, they gave 100 words for people to capture a picture.  A person can interpret each word for themselves however they see appropriate.  Just a low pressure way of getting better at taking pictures.

I have been trying (kind of) to become better at taking photos.  Right now, I am really trying to pay attention to the "rule of thirds" as well as thinking about what is in the background of my picture.  (I don't want the lamp post coming out of a head, as my sister put it.)  Sometimes I pay closer attention to it than others, mostly depending on of what I am taking a picture. For instance, Halloween, I didn't mess around too much because I knew it was a "This is the only time she will be 2 for a Halloween." kind of a situation.  But today, I needed to rake leaves so I took my camera out with me and was able to fuss with a few things.  If you look at my photos now they are better than they used to be, but my goal isn't to make it a side business or anything remotely like that; I just want to become better at capturing the moments in life.

So, without much more...here are the first four on the list of 100.  (I sure seem to be drawn to lists....)

10. Blue
Crater Lake

12. Growth
My poor excuse for a garden this year was pretty much just this one tomato plant that maybe produced 10 tomatoes.
18. Child
Just happens to be my favorite child...
67. Smile
A 2 year old on Halloween...of course there is a smile!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Wordy Wednesday: 2 days late

I have been collecting words for this week's installment of Wordy Wednesday since last Sunday.  But here it is Friday night (late) and I am just getting to them now.  My collection started because of a book that I am reading for a class I am taking at Willamette University for a writing certificate program.  This year is the first year of the program and when I signed up I didn't really know what I was signing up for. I knew that it was affiliated with Oregon Writer's Project which is near and dear to my heart.  I also knew that I had some good friends signing up.  I then found out that most of the credits were going to be paid for and that sealed the deal.
For future reference, I may want to find a little more out about something that I am going to be spending a huge chunk of time doing.  Because I didn't really have any expectations, I was a little shocked to find out that the series of classes is focused primarily on teacher research (inquiry based).  In order to get an understanding of what that all means, we were assigned a book to read for our first course; Inquiry as Stance by Marilyn Cochran-Smith and Susan L. Lytle.
When the book arrived from Amazon, I didn't give it much thought other than reminding myself to take it to our first class.  Then at some point during the first class, the instructor (who I respect greatly and would consider very intelligent) said, "I had to have a dictionary beside me when I read this book."  It was at that point that the book got my attention.  Here is the list of words that I didn't know....

dialectic: the art or practice of logical discussion as employed in investigating the truth of a theory or opinion
palimpsest: a parchment or the like from which writing has been partially or completely erased to make room for another text
counter-hegemonic: a confrontation and/or opposition to existing status quo and its legitimacy
hegemony: leadership; predominance
reify: to convert into or regard as a concrete thing
assuage: to make milder or less severe; relieve; ease; mitigate
grist: a quantity or lot
inviolable: incapable of being violated; incorruptible; unassailable
epistemology: a branch of philosophy that investigates the origin, nature, methods, and limits of human knowledge.
parlance: a way or manner of speaking; vernacular
antithetical: directly opposed or contrasted; opposite

To give myself a little credit, there were some that I looked up I realized that I recognized a root word or had figured out what the word meant by the context clues.  Others though, just reminded me how limited my vocabulary really is.  For instance, Joe (the English major) knew all but one of them. I doubt I would find myself really using any of these, at least in any kind of confident manor, but I did want to have a place to record them since they were new words to me!

As for the book, I appreciate the author's viewpoint in many cases.  They regard teachers highly and place much faith in a teacher's ability to be a change agent within the system.  I want to believe what they say is true.  The cynic in me is not convinced though.  What they are suggesting would be amazing; it is amazing if you consider the examples they give.  But before I get too carried away with what I think about it all (which isn't really much) I need to remember that what the authors are suggesting is what I am going to be asked to do throughout the writing certificate program.  So, for tonight, all I am going to leave you with is my list of words.

(one for this week and ten to count towards the 24 I still needed to make up...leaving 14 more to make up)

Monday, November 14, 2011

A Moment of Gratitude

Earlier this evening I was thinking of all the things I needed to do.  There were so many things that I didn't think I even had time to write them all down.  Hours later and many of those things done (and a few of them added to tomorrow's list) I decided that I needed to spend a few moments on all I am grateful for today.  So, in no particular order....

1.  Joe's successful surgery: He is feeling so much better and is so much more himself.  He is healing nicely and is doing most of the daily things fairly well.  He has a regiment of stretches he needs to do daily and another follow up appointment in a month, but if you compare where he was a month ago to now...it is amazing.

2. A finished kitchen:  I am sure I will do a more complete post on this sometime soon so I can show pictures, but today the contractors put the finishing touches on the kitchen.  There is still some work to do in the other rooms that will have to wait until the contractors come back from their grandmother's funeral (She was 100 years old!), but right now I have a stove and oven to cook on, a sink with running water, a dishwasher to make cleaning up easier and a new frig complete with ice and water dispenser.  What a relief!  I am SO ready to cook this week!

3.  A day off with Taelin without a huge "to-do list":  While I had a huge list of things I needed to accomplish, my day off with Taelin today had very little "to-do's".  We did go grocery shopping, that included a pre-shopping stop at Starbucks, and did a few loads of laundry, but we also read a giant pile of books, made some adorable art (using a half of bottle of liquid glue), sang songs, played with babies (she named one after our contractor), built and tore down Legos,  and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch.  It was brilliant.

4. A relaxing and rejuvenating day with friends: Sunday I spent a day playing with paper, laughing with  friends, and eating AMAZING food (which I will pay for dearly at my weigh in).  Joe spent the day with Taelin (they went swimming at the Kroc Center) and it was so nice to be able to enjoy a carefree day even if it resulted in a huge list today.  


One of my favorite quotes: "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, and stranger into a friend.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beattie.




Friday, November 11, 2011

spurious: counterfeit, fake

Sometimes things are not what they seem.  Sometimes people are not what they seem.  I know this is true for probably everyone in some capacity, but I would like to think that part of what I am working on all the time is to be as real and genuine as I can.  I know my faults, there are a lot of them, and I am sure that I have friends that could list a few of them off without much prompting. 

That being said, I try really hard to not portray myself in one way with some people and a completely different way with other people.  Clearly I am going to be more comfortable to open up and be myself around some people more than others, but I still try to represent who I am in an honest way.  

Most of the time, it is a minor irritation to find out that someone is a bit spurious.  For me, I call into question how much I can really trust someone and then I act accordingly; perhaps even distance myself from such behavior because I find it annoying.  It is rare that I would feel anger or sadness, but this week I did and I am not really sure what to do with it.  Probably nothing except for what I have done in the past; protect myself a little more when interacting with the person and limit my contact.  

Even now I am not really even anger about it, mostly just irritated and sadden by the situation.  I guess I just need to let it go.  Perhaps I need to look at the situation as a reminder for me that I need to continue to work on being honest, real and genuine; with others and myself.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The "rules" regarding Santa....

Taelin was ready to go trick or treating again a couple of days after Halloween.  It has been a little tough trying to explain that we only get dressed up in our costumes once a year to go begging for candy. (We wear Halloween costumes year-round in this house, but the begging for candy thing only happens once a year.)  Her requests have become a little more urgent as she is seeing her bag of candy loot becoming more empty as the days pass.  And as I try to reassure her that there will be trick or treating again in her life but just not for awhile, I hadn't really considered how tough it was going to be to explain some of these things that we just "know" about.

My prior post shows that I definitely have Christmas on the brain, but I was not planning on talking about anything Christmas-like with Taelin until it was a little closer.   My plan was thwarted, however, by any retail store who has already set up their Christmas displays and by her daycare/preschool who is having a Christmas concert on December 14th.  It will be cute as heck and I am looking forward to it BUT that means that pretty much the day after Halloween they started practicing Christmas songs.

The song that she has been singing the most isn't one I have heard before.  It is to the tune of "Where is Thumbkin?" and it is as follows:

Where is Santa?
No more peeking.
Or I'll tell...
Or I'll tell...
Santa Claus is coming,
Santa Claus is coming.
Hear his bells.
Hear his bells.     
(And yes, in case you were wondering, I had to sing it to make sure that I got the lyrics correct.)

The singing of this song has led to some questions that I was not quite ready for.  Actually, the initial questions I was ready for...it was the follow up ones that are giving me some trouble.

The answer to "Why is Santa coming?" was pretty easy.  Santa comes to the houses of people that are kind and are good listeners. (Can you tell what we might be working on right now in the Crowe house?)  He comes to bring them toys.  (HUGE eyes while processing that tidbit of information that resulted in a big smile.)

Follow up question: "What will he bring me?"  Here is where I made my amateur mistake.  Parents of multiple children will roll their eyes when they read my reply..."Well, you can ask Santa for something and then, if you are kind and a good listener, he will bring it to you on Christmas Eve."  Her response,  "Really?"

At this point, I tried to back pedal but it was too late.  I tried to talk about how it is usually something really special and that sometimes Santa brings it and sometimes he doesn't but to be honest she wasn't really interested in the details.  And the whole understanding of time thing? Not so much.

So far, just today after lunch but before nap time, she has decided that Santa is going to bring her: more milk, sticky tape to fix her broken paper scarecrow, more trick or treating (good problem solving to be honest), some art projects, little circle crackers, and another Dora the Explorer episode.  My response to all of those "Well, maybe, but not until Christmas."  Actually, to the trick or treating one I said, "We don't wear costumes for Christmas, just Halloween." My 2 1/2 year old daughter's response, "Santa wears a red costume and a hat." Um.....crap.

Clearly, I am stumped.  I already felt a little guilty about the whole "Santa brings toys to kind people and good listeners." thing and now I have no idea how to explain the rest of it.  I know that Christmas is not just about Santa and when we get to the birds and bees conversations, this is going to seem like a breeze BUT I have never thought about how complicated this whole thing is!

I guess I will figure it out as we go and be lucky enough that she is still 2 and won't necessarily remember every conversation we have about Santa and Christmas.  There is a spirit of Christmas that is really hard to explain to a 2 year old and to be honest, when you are two would be pretty much impossible to really understand.

It makes me realize, once again, how amazing it is going to be to experience another part of life through Taelin's eyes.  And it reminds me how incredibly lucky I am.  And it reminds me that Peg Bracken had it right when she said that "Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas."  What a great reminder for me as I am self-imposing Christmas expectations already.  I guess Santa does come before Christmas after all....