I have been stealing a lot of kisses from Taelin in the last couple of days. Kisses, hugs, cuddling reading books, more kisses...I even pulled her out of her bed Friday night when I went to bed because I just needed to have her near me.
I can't tear myself away from the news. I wish I could just unplug from it all. I keep telling myself that I need to but when I was watching President Obama's speech tonight at the candlelight vigil it clicked for me why I won't. I won't unplug because there are 26 families out there that can't. And it just doesn't seem fair, that word seems like a silly word to use, but it just doesn't seem fair that I can unplug from it all when they can't. So, I keep checking for updates, looking at sweet faces with missing teeth, reading the stories of the teachers and crying.
I do have to say that I haven't done any crying in front of Taelin. She is clueless about what is going on and I can only hope that there isn't any conversation about it at preschool on Tuesday. I won't be super surprised if it does come up. It is everywhere. The kids in her class have older, school aged children. She spends part of her day with older kids. I won't be surprised. But I will be heartbroken.
There are many discussions going on right now that I am really just trying to ignore. I am trying to learn the stories because somehow it seems that is the right thing to do. It brings tears most of the time.
I have always been grateful for my daughter. But the recent tragedy makes me realize that I need to not just be telling myself that or writing blog posts about it. I need to be telling her...every single day.
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