I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou

I have a lot of favorite quotes by Maya Angelou, in fact, I probably could find 101 quotes just from her that inspire me in one way or another but this one has always been one that always brings me pause.  It is so true for everyone, but somehow rings especially true for a teacher.  

I had an interesting experience today regarding a teacher but I was on a side that I have not really found myself many times...I was the unhappy parent.  I say "was" like it is in the past and I am over it which is not entirely true.  I am trying to use some grace, patience and understanding before I go off half-cocked on my one of my daughter's preschool teachers.

It isn't easy to convince Taelin to go to school.  She has fun, loves her teachers (most of the time) and enjoys playing with her friends but we have a great time being home too and she would much prefer to be at home than school.  There are a few things that make it a little easier to motivate her; Tuesday she has dance at school, Wednesday is show and tell, Thursday...well, it's the last day and "tomorrow is a home day!"  Show and tell is easily her most favorite of them all and I don't think it would surprise many that know Taelin even a little when I say that we literally start talking about what she is going to take for her next show and tell on our way home on Wednesday night.  She is that into it.  

I know as well as the next teacher that things don't always go as planned.  Today, Taelin was excited to take a little rock that had a dragonfly painted on it.  It was a "bonus" gift with some other rocks I had ordered and it just screamed Taelin when I unpacked the box.  We packed it up and on our way to school today we talked about what she might decide to say about it.  Lots of lingering hugs and I was off to my day.

Fast forward to tonight's pick up time.  I was talking to the owner and told Taelin to go and get her coat and her show and tell.  She looks at me, with what seconds ago were smiling eyes, and bursts into tears.  Like sobbing-can't-understand-you tears.  I finally get out of her that she didn't get to do her show and tell and I looked at the owner who said, "They had a hard day in there.  I am not surprised they didn't have time."  Ok, fine, there are days that are hard.  I get it.  I ask, as I think was responsible, if there was anything that Taelin did to contribute to the "hard day".  The owner said that Taelin was actually the exception.  She is really great to have in there except for the occasional, "That isn't how you are supposed to do it. Let me show you the right way."  (I have NO idea where that comes from...)  I smile a little bit and let her know again that if anything ever becomes an issue to please let me know.  She smiles that smile that I am sure I used to give parents when I wanted them the conversation to end and Taelin and I headed out the door.  

I thought we had recovered as we talked on our way out to the car, but the second I closed my door Taelin started sobbing again about not getting to share.  I know that she looks forward to show and tell, but I honestly was surprised that it was getting that much of reaction.  Surprised enough, in fact, that I started to dig a little deeper into what made the day a "hard" day.

The group of kids that Taelin has been with at this preschool has been challenging.  Nobody has said that right out but I am smart enough to figure out that if a preschool teacher is handing out behavior tickets that can then be turned in for a drawing for some crappy Dollar Store prize in the second week of September, there is a bit of a management problem.  We often see (during picking up and dropping off) the same few kids in time out.  If you ask Taelin it is because they are not listening to what the teacher tells them to do.

Well, apparently today was a particularly "not listening" day and at one point the teacher lost it and yelled...loudly.  She was reading a book aloud to the kids, they weren't listening and then she yelled at them for what Taelin said, "Was a really long time."  Now, I know that kind of thing happens.  I can think of a few not-so-proud moments earlier in my career that I just didn't know what to do with my lovely 3rd graders that I raised my voice out of frustration.

But what broke my heart, is what Taelin said she did.  And I quote, "I was so scared and nerbous (v's are still b's) that I just had to hide under the table until she stopped yelling. It was not safe to come out."

....sigh....

I haven't talked to the teacher yet and I will.  I only know Taelin's part of the story and I know there are things that her 3 year old brain probably didn't pick up.  But.  She was scared and nervous and felt unsafe.  She doesn't want to go to school tomorrow.  Another quote, "I just know my friends aren't going to be good listeners and that teacher ____ is going to yell again."

I don't really know what to do.  This poor teacher is probably making barely minimum wage.  The amount of training that she has had is probably minimal.  She probably doesn't have a toolbox of tricks to try when managing a group of 15 three and four years olds.  She probably went home frustrated at her really hard day and doesn't want to go to school tomorrow either.

This teaching thing isn't easy and I am seeing that everywhere this week.  It is hard work.  There is a lot to do and much to combat.  I get that.  I see that.  I remember that.  As a teacher.

But tonight, I am a parent with a little girl that doesn't want to go to preschool tomorrow.  I think there are going to be a few tears in the morning from Taelin.

And more than likely a few from me as I drive to my first school.  

Photo A Day Jan 14-21, 2013

I have really been trying to capture some of the moments that are just part our everyday life since our everyday life is going by so darn quickly.  I am already so grateful for these little snapshots and can only begin to imagine how happy I will be about having them as life continues on.

jan 14, 2013
my view at bedtime

jan 15, 2013
what the last month has looked like

jan 16, 2013
being a daddy of a girl

jan 17, 2013
we are cranking out the art for her "museum" birthday party

jan 18, 2013
Girl's Night Out damage

jan 19, 2013
for those of you that are worried whether the cat is alive...she is

jan 20, 2013
at Portland Children's Museum

jan 21, 2013

This last picture has a story behind it that needs a little more room than just the caption.  Taelin, not surprisingly, has exhibited a trait that every girl I have every known has held at some point.  If you have straight hair, you want curly hair; if you have curly hair, you want straight hair.  That coupled with the fact that Taelin will be a flower girl in a wedding in March and I feel like I should figure out something for her hair, I spent $10 on a little foam roller kit.  She was over the moon happy at the possibility and once we took the curlers out she couldn't stop smiling.  It was my first attempt and I used all different sizes in different directions just seeing what I got.  I told her that it wasn't something we would do on days she had to go to school, but it could be part of playing dress up.  I have a feeling I am going to get my money's worth out of those little foam rollers.

I wanted to go exercise.

Said Jodie...well never...until tonight.

I am currently walking on the treadmill warming up for the 20 minute run coming up.

And I did it. On purpose.

Maybe there is hope for me after all.

Amish Applesauce Cake

On the last day of Christmas break, Taelin's dance class started back up.  There is a mobile program through the local gymnastics center that comes to her preschool on one of the three days that she is there.  She did it last year and when we asked her again if she wanted to do it there was no hesitation.  Selfishly, I love it for two reasons.  First, it is STINKIN' adorable!!! But second, the class is on Tuesday which is the first day back to preschool after four (usually pretty fun filled days) of being at home.  I love that Taelin loves to be at home, but it breaks my heart a little when she begs to stay home "just one more day"...until...I remind her that she has dance on Tuesday and then she is all about going to preschool.  I know she really loves it all once she gets there, but having dance on Tuesday is the one thing that makes it less of a battle before school (which in turn reduces the possibility of me crying on the way to work feeling guilty).

Anyway...Taelin had dance on the Tuesday but we were having furlough days so I wasn't working.  I still took her (to get her thinking that tomorrow she was going back to school all day and to watch because it is adorable) and when I came in the owner asked, "What are you bringing us to eat tomorrow?" It was done in a completely friendly manner because I often bring them treats but I can honestly say I hadn't even thought about.  I gave some noncommittal "You will just have to see!" and then after coming home did a quick search for an easy to bake something.  I decided to look specifically for something with applesauce in it, because I have a lot of applesauce in my freezer.  I didn't have to look long when I found this lovely little recipe.

I did change a few things because of what I had on hand (or didn't) but it came out wonderfully.  Taelin helped me every step of the way and it was the perfect way to end our last day of break.  We cut up most of it to give to the teachers, but saved enough for us to have after dinner.  It wasn't too sweet but it was sweet enough that you knew you were having a treat.

You can obviously just follow the recipe I linked but here is what I did...

Ingredients

1 cup sugar

1/2 softened butter

2 eggs

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups applesauce

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Coat a 9- x 13-inch baking dish with cooking spray. (I used my Misto with canola oil)

 

2. In a large bowl, cream sugar and butter with an electric beater on low speed. Beat in the eggs, one at a time. Add flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt; beat until well mixed. Add applesauce and vanilla; mix well and pour batter into prepared baking dish.

 

3. Bake 30 minutes and cool before cutting.

Chopsticks are tricky...and a few other updates

I have had some computer troubles lately but since I have my own built in tech support, I think everything is back up and running.  Unfortunately, one of the side effects is that I am a little behind in updated a few things that I have been able to check off my list.

First, as the title of this post implies,chopsticks are tricky.  I was able to meet Joe for a quick lunch one day and we decided to meet at the local Hawaiian place (think meat, rice, mac salad) and when getting the napkins, extra sauce and silverware, Joe brought back chopsticks.  He has provided me with lessons in the past but I mostly gave up and reached out for my fork.  This time, however, he didn't bring a back up fork which forced me to eat my whole lunch with the chopsticks unless I was going to give up and shamefully go back up to the counter and get a fork (which at this point wasn't going to happen because I am too stubborn.)  But, I am happy to report that I manage to eat the whole lunch (which for me does NOT include mac salad because...um...gross) using only my chopsticks.  I will admit that I scooped a couple of times, instead of pinching, but my list just said I needed to "learn" not master using chopsticks and that I have done. So it is checked off!

There has been a lot of sickness going around in this house (mostly of the congested kind) and so between that and the cold/rainy weather, we have been more apt to look for low energy things to do.  Which for us has always meant watching movies.  I was able to check some of the letters off from my A-Z movie list. We watched at home as a family Despicable Me which was adorable.  We got some movie gift cards for Christmas so we went and saw Rise of the Guardians which was super cute and a lot of fun.  Then Joe and I saw Looper which was more a Joe movie than Jodie movie.  It was an interesting story, but pretty violent.

I also started a gratitude journal.  This one has been mulling around in my head for awhile.  Actually for a long while and I almost wrote it down when I did some editing of the list a long time ago but I didn't because I wasn't sure I wanted to commit.  But the beginning of the new year and a 2013 calendar/journal for a Christmas present prompted me to start.  So, every night right before I go to bed, I am writing down 3 things that I am grateful for, mostly focused on the day.  There have been several times that as I am going throughout the day I think "I can write that down tonight!" so, so far, it has been a great exercise.  I am also asking Taelin to tell me one thing she is grateful for when I tuck her in at night.  It is pretty funny to hear what she comes up with.

So, there you go.  I officially have 56 items completely checked off and 16 items "in progress".

Photo of the Week Jan 7-13

 This past week signaled the end of our long and lovely Christmas break and getting back into a more normal routine.  I feel a little guilty saying that because out of the seven days, I actually only had to work two because of furlough days.  Even still, we got back into our regular routines mostly because of the absence of some big event. My new phone took every one of these pictures and they definitely just capture everyday happenings as they happened.

jan 7, 2013

jan 8, 2013
happiness sometimes comes in a little bottle

jan 9, 2013
2 hours later than I wanted to be going home from work

jan 10, 2013
2013 snowstorm

jan 11, 2013
Portland's Children's Museum

jan 12, 2013

jan 13, 2013
so many books...so little time

The Lottery

The other night I was working on my December Daily album, and I decided to check out our Netflix queue for something different to watch.  Once I started looking, I was reminded that I had added a bunch of documentaries and decided to pass up some of the other choices and watch The Lottery.  It was a rather short film and the topic was centered around 4 families living in New York City that were all trying to get their kids into a charter school.

There was an obvious bias, which I think is the case in many documentaries, and I will admit that there were times that I wanted to just hit the stop button and switch to an already watched episode of Law and Order...but I didn't.  

I don't have a lot of experience with charter schools.  I know that there have been some widely successful ones across the country but most that I personally know about are riddled with their own problems.  The one in this film has been one of those successful ones.  The teaching day is extended, the school year is extended, the principal gets rid of "ineffective" teachers with no trouble from a union, teachers happily work together.  It is so successful that there is a lottery every spring to fill the available spaces for the upcoming school year.  

Throughout the film, we followed 4 children.  They were all going to be kindergartens in the fall.  Their cute little faces were supposed to pull at the heart strings of the viewer.  In a lot of ways, it worked.  They were great little kids. And then there were the parents.  The parents of these four kids were clearly dedicated to wanting the best for their child.  Every single one of them had a little section in their house that was reserved for learning.  There were alphabet posters, books, pocket charts, word cards, puzzles, flash cards, etc.  It was incredible.  And irritating all at the same time.  

My problem with this film was not that these parents clearly wanted what was best for their child.  The problem I had with this film was the implication that all parents were like this and then when these little darlings entered kindergarten, the big, mean, unionized public school teacher was going to fail them miserably year after year.  And yes, that would be a little bias showing through.  

I am not saying that there aren't ineffective teachers out there.  A huge purpose of my job is to help make teachers more effective early in their career.  There are always things we can do as teachers to be better.  I don't deny for a second that there are teachers that should not be with children in a classroom. I could even name a few.  

The problem that I had with this documentary is how simple they saw the solution was.  

I taught kindergarten for one year here in Salem.  When I started the year, I had 21 students, a number unheard of these days in public school.  Of those 21 kids, I had two that could recognize all of their letters, most knew 5-10. Of those 21 kids, 10 of them could not write their own name....5 of them couldn't even recognize it.  Most of them could count to 10.  Half of them could write to 10.  Three of them didn't know how to hold a book.  There weren't many alphabet posters, books, pocket charts, word cards, puzzles, flash cards in these kids home.  There is plenty of responsibility to go around for kids succeeding in school.  

Now I want to say that I worked hard that year.  All of my kids made a lot of progress but not all were "ready" for first grade.  I am not using the excuse that "they didn't come ready".  But I am saying it is a reality.  Kids (and in some schools most of the kids) walk into school the first day of the new year not prepared.  And when they walk into school when they are kindergartens, there is no prior public school teacher to blame.  And to be honest, it doesn't really serve us to throw blame around and it certainly doesn't serve the kids.  

I agree with the film maker that we need to do better by the kids going to our schools and I know a lot of educators that give of themselves (probably more than is personally healthy) to try and do that every single day.  I just wish those people would have gotten a little screen time too.

(And, probably not surprising, I didn't really end up getting a lot done on my December Daily album.)