I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou

I have a lot of favorite quotes by Maya Angelou, in fact, I probably could find 101 quotes just from her that inspire me in one way or another but this one has always been one that always brings me pause.  It is so true for everyone, but somehow rings especially true for a teacher.  

I had an interesting experience today regarding a teacher but I was on a side that I have not really found myself many times...I was the unhappy parent.  I say "was" like it is in the past and I am over it which is not entirely true.  I am trying to use some grace, patience and understanding before I go off half-cocked on my one of my daughter's preschool teachers.

It isn't easy to convince Taelin to go to school.  She has fun, loves her teachers (most of the time) and enjoys playing with her friends but we have a great time being home too and she would much prefer to be at home than school.  There are a few things that make it a little easier to motivate her; Tuesday she has dance at school, Wednesday is show and tell, Thursday...well, it's the last day and "tomorrow is a home day!"  Show and tell is easily her most favorite of them all and I don't think it would surprise many that know Taelin even a little when I say that we literally start talking about what she is going to take for her next show and tell on our way home on Wednesday night.  She is that into it.  

I know as well as the next teacher that things don't always go as planned.  Today, Taelin was excited to take a little rock that had a dragonfly painted on it.  It was a "bonus" gift with some other rocks I had ordered and it just screamed Taelin when I unpacked the box.  We packed it up and on our way to school today we talked about what she might decide to say about it.  Lots of lingering hugs and I was off to my day.

Fast forward to tonight's pick up time.  I was talking to the owner and told Taelin to go and get her coat and her show and tell.  She looks at me, with what seconds ago were smiling eyes, and bursts into tears.  Like sobbing-can't-understand-you tears.  I finally get out of her that she didn't get to do her show and tell and I looked at the owner who said, "They had a hard day in there.  I am not surprised they didn't have time."  Ok, fine, there are days that are hard.  I get it.  I ask, as I think was responsible, if there was anything that Taelin did to contribute to the "hard day".  The owner said that Taelin was actually the exception.  She is really great to have in there except for the occasional, "That isn't how you are supposed to do it. Let me show you the right way."  (I have NO idea where that comes from...)  I smile a little bit and let her know again that if anything ever becomes an issue to please let me know.  She smiles that smile that I am sure I used to give parents when I wanted them the conversation to end and Taelin and I headed out the door.  

I thought we had recovered as we talked on our way out to the car, but the second I closed my door Taelin started sobbing again about not getting to share.  I know that she looks forward to show and tell, but I honestly was surprised that it was getting that much of reaction.  Surprised enough, in fact, that I started to dig a little deeper into what made the day a "hard" day.

The group of kids that Taelin has been with at this preschool has been challenging.  Nobody has said that right out but I am smart enough to figure out that if a preschool teacher is handing out behavior tickets that can then be turned in for a drawing for some crappy Dollar Store prize in the second week of September, there is a bit of a management problem.  We often see (during picking up and dropping off) the same few kids in time out.  If you ask Taelin it is because they are not listening to what the teacher tells them to do.

Well, apparently today was a particularly "not listening" day and at one point the teacher lost it and yelled...loudly.  She was reading a book aloud to the kids, they weren't listening and then she yelled at them for what Taelin said, "Was a really long time."  Now, I know that kind of thing happens.  I can think of a few not-so-proud moments earlier in my career that I just didn't know what to do with my lovely 3rd graders that I raised my voice out of frustration.

But what broke my heart, is what Taelin said she did.  And I quote, "I was so scared and nerbous (v's are still b's) that I just had to hide under the table until she stopped yelling. It was not safe to come out."

....sigh....

I haven't talked to the teacher yet and I will.  I only know Taelin's part of the story and I know there are things that her 3 year old brain probably didn't pick up.  But.  She was scared and nervous and felt unsafe.  She doesn't want to go to school tomorrow.  Another quote, "I just know my friends aren't going to be good listeners and that teacher ____ is going to yell again."

I don't really know what to do.  This poor teacher is probably making barely minimum wage.  The amount of training that she has had is probably minimal.  She probably doesn't have a toolbox of tricks to try when managing a group of 15 three and four years olds.  She probably went home frustrated at her really hard day and doesn't want to go to school tomorrow either.

This teaching thing isn't easy and I am seeing that everywhere this week.  It is hard work.  There is a lot to do and much to combat.  I get that.  I see that.  I remember that.  As a teacher.

But tonight, I am a parent with a little girl that doesn't want to go to preschool tomorrow.  I think there are going to be a few tears in the morning from Taelin.

And more than likely a few from me as I drive to my first school.