Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Sunny San Diego...or so I have heard.

There are going to be a few of the regular posts missing this week because we are on vacation in San Diego!!! The posts there are will probably be short because I typing on my iPad (which has a hilarious auto-correct) and we are trying to stay really busy.

So far we have been here one full day and we went to Sea World. The morning was cloudy but in the middle of the dolphin show it started to pour down rain (kind of like Oregon). We had lunch and the weather broke for a little bit but we eventually had to call it a day. We are supposed to have sunny weather for the rest of the trip...fingers crossed.

There are a few things that I am going to be able to check off. I just checked off the last two new restaurants this morning and today we are off to the zoo! Here is hoping we are going to need some sunscreen today!!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

ardent:having, expressive of, or characterized by intense feeling; passionate; fervent

***small disclaimer for this Wordy Wednesday...I have heard and read the word before, but because I don't every use it in my day to day vocabulary...I am counting it***

Today Taelin turned 3.  She has been waiting for her birthday to come since mine in September.  There has been much talk of how old she was going to be and what kind of birthday party she wanted to have.  We have talked about other people's birthdays and looked a pictures from past birthday parties.  She has been so excited about having a birthday party...and her cake...she has been planning her cake for awhile.

I also have had some ardent feelings about her birthday, but they are a little different than hers.  By the time I got to work this morning, I had already been brought to tears four times.  I just can't believe she is 3.  Where did this year go?

We have done a lot in this past year.  We have remodel 1/3 of our home, survived Joe's back surgery and recovery, been to Montana to see friends and attend Lorie's wedding.  We have gone on picnics and played at parks.  We have read book after book and discovered the amazing  powers of liquid glue. We have had tea parties and played dress up and danced and sang.  If I listed everything out we would have a HUGE list; we are trying to live life...yet.... Where did this year go?

I have talked to many friends (many of them mothers) and after they graciously listen to me go on and on about this they just smile.  They smile and then they say, "Just wait. You will blink and they will be grown up." Even just typing that and thinking about it brings tears to my eyes again.  Oh, how I don't want to blink.

As I was tucking Taelin in tonight, I leaned over to kiss her and told her how happy and grateful I was to be her mama.  I told her she was so incredibly special to me and that I was proud of the kind and sweet girl she was.  I gave her a hug and told her that I loved her so much; more than I could have ever imagined.  She grabbed my hand and kissed the middle of my palm and then in such a strong, clear voice replied, "I know Mama. Thank you."

No, thank you my sweet, sweet girl.  Happy Birthday...I love you.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. ~Theodore Roosevelt

I had an interesting opportunity to sit in on a panel that was interviewing people that wanted to be a principal for a new school that is being built in Salem.  In addition to just being a principal, which is a huge job by itself, this school is going to be a lab school.  This means that in eight of the classrooms there will be 1-way mirrors for observations at anytime.  There will also be cameras in the classrooms that will go directly to three local universities to be used with pre-service teachers.  It will also become a place where many student teachers are housed. It is a very exciting project that connects the learning in a university to real-world teaching.

As I listened to the candidates talk about why they wanted to be the principal of this new school and the plans they had, as well as the considerations that the panel made when trying to come to a decision for who would be the best person for the job, I tried to keep the lens of a teacher.  I asked myself each time, "If I were working in that school, would I want to work for them?"  Even when the answer was "yes" my answer was still "no".

The teachers that will work at that school will work harder than any other teachers in the district (and I say that knowing the hard working teachers there already are).  I just don't want to work that hard.  It isn't reasonable for anyone to work that hard.  I understand the stakes...there are children that need to be ready to participate in society, to the best of their ability.  They need to be able to read and write.  They need to be able to think and express themselves.  They need to be able to problem solve and think critically.  They need to be able to do that and a whole lot more.

In some of the small talk that was going around before and between the interviews, several expressed that the excitement around this project makes them want to go back into the classroom.  I am sure they were thinking about the classrooms in this school, but I started to think about the classroom in general.  I sat there a bit baffled at my reaction which was "not with a ten-foot pole". (An opinion I kept to myself.)

It isn't that I couldn't do the work.  I know I could.  I just don't want to.  I fought a long time to even get a job after we moved from Montana.  I spent three years being temporary, hoping every year that I would get picked up again. I see that same passion and want in the eyes of the teachers I serve, willing to do just about anything to be a teacher.  And here I am....12 years later, scared at the possibility of having to do it again.

There are "greats" in every profession.  The people that are at the top of their game and well-respected.  The people that others strive to be.  Actors and musicians come to mind first, but my thoughts quickly turn to more common "greats".  The editors of a newspaper, a manager of a store, director of an IT department...those that have risen up to become leaders in their field. They have gotten there because of unrelenting dedication to their field; probably sacrificing things to become great.

My thoughts then turn to what was sacrificed.  Was it the relationships in those peoples lives?  Did they compromise their health?  Was it time?  There is only so much a person can give...something had to be sacrificed.

I think I was a great teacher.  I think I could be a great teacher again.  But I don't think I could be a great teacher without sacrificing the things that I am not willing to sacrifice.  There are other things I want to be "great" at...things that are more important to me.  So that leaves me a bit stuck, doesn't it?

I suppose it is safe to say that things will continue to change and as they do my feelings about all of this might change too.  I would have never thought 12 years ago that I would be where I am...it is probably reasonable to assume that I can't really predict what thing will be like in another 12.

So I guess until I get there I just need to remember Teddy's words and do what I can, with what I have, where I am.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wordy Wednesday....and it is actually Wednesday!

Ok, I guess before I get too excited I have to admit that I am a few weeks behind.  When I put this on my list, I really didn't think it was going to be such a struggle for me...but clearly I was wrong.

Here are a few words that I found that I thought might be useful...

cordate: heart-shaped
vilipend: to regard or treat as of little value or account
gam: to have a visit or friendly conversation with

I seriously need to come up with a system...which I have said before!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

San Jose...a place to check things off!

I just got back from a work trip to San Jose.  It was a "symposium" that was hosted by New Teacher Center which is a non-profit organization whose work focuses on improving student achievement in schools through accelerating the effectiveness of classroom teachers.  Most of their work centers around mentoring beginning teachers and mentor programs that support those teachers and mentors.  I have been so fortunate to find a place in the mentor program in my district. The symposium was the annual conference for people that have done work with New Teacher Center to come learn from others that have done like work.

Through the funding of our state mentor grant, we were lucky enough to take our whole team.  The conference ran from Sunday morning through Tuesday afternoon.  After our last session on Tuesday afternoon, we pretty much went straight the airport to catch our flight home.  Even though we were really busy though, we did get some time Saturday afternoon since our flight got their early afternoon and we didn't have anything we had to do until 8 am Sunday.

Here are some of the things that I hope I will blog more about later...but wanted to at least list here so I could check them off...

New Restaurants...
There was breakfast and lunch provided at the conference, but we were on our own for dinner. Saturday night we ate at P.F. Changs and Monday night we ate at Gordon Biersch Brewery Restaurant. Both places were really good.  I do want to write more about these at a later time.

Books...
I started and finished The Help.  I read all the way to San Jose and every down minute after snuggling into my pj's for the next.  I LOVED the story...didn't like the ending.  Hopefully more on that another day.

Documentaries...
On Monday evening we watching the documentary American Teacher.  If you want to find more information out you can go here.  If you want to watch the trailer, you can go here.  I will for sure be saying more about this on a later date.

Art Exhibit...
On Saturday afternoon, two of my co-workers were walking around trying to figure out what we wanted to do.  Our hotel was right next to the San Jose Museum of Art who just happen to be having a free community day.  We were able to see quite a few exhibits from different artists, as well as some bonus dance/music performances since it was a free community day.  There will be more on that later too!


That does check one thing completely off also adds to some of my sub-lists.  I will admit though because of this my weigh in didn't happen this week, nor have I been up on my word of the week.  I guess I have a few things to blog about...but until then I am going to wrap this up and go to bed.  Four days and three nights was a long time to be away from home and even though it was all great stuff, I missed Taelin horribly.  So, instead of going into more detail than I have in me, I am going to go down the hall and go to bed.  That way, I will have a lot of energy to hang out with my little girl (or at least more than I have right now).  So until that time....check, check, and CHECK!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Action expresses priorities. ~Mahatma Gandhi

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about a decision we were both trying to make.  I had actually already made my decision, but I didn't want my choice to necessarily influence hers until I could really figure out what she was thinking.  The decision: Whether or not to continue with a set of courses that would result in a writing certificate through a university?

Many of the same things she was considering, were the same things I had considered.  There was a significant amount of credit attached to the series of courses.  And the credit would essentially be free because of the reimbursement that is allotted to each person in my school district.  The advantage of that is credit moves you over on the pay scale, which means you make more money.  Those things are clearly huge in terms of why a person would continue.

I have a few pretty close friends that were doing this series of classes and to be honest, that was one of the biggest selling points when I originally signed up.  Spending time with people I like that I don't see often talking about one of my favorite things.  Seemed like a win-win.

Another factor I considered is the actual work of the classes.  It had somewhat changed from the initial "sell" of the courses.  I am not a person that is afraid of work, at all, but in this case it became work I wasn't really interested in.  You can't really talk about work without talking about time.  And time became the biggest issue for me.

Originally the courses were supposed to be through the school year during the evening with a three day writing retreat in the summer.  About a month into the first class the schedule changed dramatically.  All of the sudden there were 12 days in July and an additionally three days in August.  That was the kicker.

I can get more credits later.  I can always make more money later.  What I can't make more of is time.  So, it became an easy decision.

It hasn't been an easy decision for my friend though.  I finally shared that I was not going to continue after the current class was done.  I don't think my decision helped her any. Some of her circumstances are different and some of her end goals for her career are different.  She was feeling much more conflicted than I was.  She was feeling like a failure if she quit.  I asked her what she would be failing if she didn't quit.  She replied, "My family."

I didn't know what more to say to her.  I know she knew what I thought about it, mostly based on my own decision.  I felt bad that she was feeling conflicted.  I wanted their to be something I could say to help her relieve the guilt that she was feeling about failing, but there wasn't.  She still hasn't decided and the new class starts this coming week.

I feel like my action, in this case, definitely expresses my priorities.  It is clear that my time with Taelin during the summer is a priority.  I made my decision and I did it without much inner conflict.  Yay me!!! But I think it only fair that I look at the flip side of this quote too.

There are things that I would like to think are priorities but honestly my actions don't necessarily show that.  Exercising seems to be the first one that pops into my head.  A good night's sleep could probably be thrown in there too.  Reading more, eating less....I suppose everyone would have their own little list like this.

My inclination is to beat myself up about those things, until I remember that there was one time (before Taelin was born and John died) that my time and how I spent it wasn't necessarily something that a priority.  It wasn't until certain events happened in my life that I started to make changes in what I considered a priority.  A perfect example is how much I am working. Never in a million years could you have told the Jodie of 10 years ago that the Jodie of now would not be in a classroom and would only be working half time.  Circumstances change and I changed accordingly.  This was a fairly big change but not all change needs to be so dramatic (or at least that is what I really want to believe).

These three little words from Gandhi are going to stick with me for awhile I think.  It isn't a new concept but perhaps just reframed because of recent events.  They could be like my own internal sounding board.  And with that, I am going to go and try to get one of those "good night's sleeps" that I talked about a little bit ago.