“As we work to create light for others, we naturally light our own way.” ― Mary Anne Radmacher

Tonight I had a friend come over who is grieving in a way that I hope I never have to experience.  Her life, as she knows it, is over and she has to pick up the pieces and carry on.  And she will.  She is stronger than she knows.

We have been having many conversations over the last few weeks.  I have tried hard not to give advice but instead to listen, ask questions and listen some more.  I have said, "I am so sorry." many times when I feel like there is nothing else I can say.  Hugs, kind words and my friendship is really all I have to offer.

Tonight, though, we talked a little about me and something that continues to challenge and frustrate me.    I haven't written about my weight struggles for awhile now but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it.  I have slowly over the last 18 months undone some of the hard work I did.  I have a lot of feelings about it that I could write about for awhile, but honestly, I mostly feel ashamed and embarrassed that I have done this to myself.

I am not sure what happened.  I wish I could pinpoint how I derailed myself.  This problem is nothing compared to my friend's problem, but it is still a problem. I do know that if I don't do something soon to turn it around that the few clothes that still fit, won't for long.  

So, I have a plan.  For tomorrow.  I am not looking any more forward than that.  Tomorrow, I will make a plan for the next day.  And I am going to try and follow that pattern for awhile. 

My friend...you know who you are...thank you.  One day at a time seems like a good plan.  We are probably both stronger than we know, but luckily, we have each other to remind ourselves when we forget.