I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. ~Author Unknown

I need to have this quote tattooed on my hand. Ok, that might be going to an extreme.  At the very least, I need to write this quote down in a couple of particular places as a reminder.  I keep finding myself in situations where I feel like I need to argue my stance, prove my point, convince others to change their mind.  The majority of the time, I end up walking away frustrated, worried, angry and irritated.  Usually I end up carrying those feelings (that continue to compound) long after the conversation is done.

It is such a tricky thing when I find myself in a situation like this.  Others I know, believe the same thing I do but can state their opinion and move on.  Others I know believe the same thing I do but just don't even engage.  I don't do either of those and I need to.

I am not good at letting go of things.  You would think the amount of times I have watched or heard the soundtrack to Frozen I would have "Let It Go" running through my subconscious but I don't.  I am not sure how it get better at that. When I don't engage, I often feel guilty later.  Like my silence was an acceptance of a differing view.

Lately, it seems I find myself in these situations in the education word, not only as a teacher but now as a parent.  I kind of always thought I would be a pain in the ass to my daughter's teacher and turns out I know myself pretty well and I was right.  I try to mitigate my pain in the ass-ness with baked goods, gift cards for coffee and volunteering but I am sure that only goes so far.  

Here is the latest example. Taelin is super excited to become a reader.  She loves reading books together, has started wanting to "read" books in bed after I read to her at night and one of her favorite apps is the Reading Rainbow app.  She has about 7 notebooks strewn around the house with pictures and labels and is constantly asking how to spell words.  She loves making up stories in the car when we are driving and wants Joe and I to tell her stories of when we were kids. She is super excited and really ready.

Enter sight word flashcards.  I can't even put into succinct words how much I abhorrently disagree with giving 5 year olds 10 unknown words at a time without any kind of context for meaning on flashcards with the charge of practicing every night so you can get tested every day so you can get a sticker on a chart when you know them all so you can get 10 more unknown words without any kind of context for meaning on flashcards.  I could go on and on but I won't.  It quite literally turns me into a crazy person.

Taelin was motivated for a bit because it was new but quickly became discouraged when she couldn't memorize them. So now we don't do them.  The teacher discussed with me that she was concerned because Taelin was only on packet one and most kids were on packet two or three.  I told her I didn't feel like isolated flashcards fit her learning style (I left out my overall opinion) and that we weren't going to do them like that. I told her we would work more writing at home and I would have the words with us so if a sight word came up, she should include it in her writing. She wasn't super happy with me.  I have been on the other side of the table of that discussion, I know how not happy she was with me.  She expressed her concern that she just wants Taelin to be able to become a reader and not knowing sight words is going to get in her way.  I have to fight the small panic I feel when I hear that...until I remember what she can do.

I went on the Mickey Mouse Ferris Wheel of Death!
 (done at school)

I went to Lucy birthday party.  She opened her music box!
(done at school)

                                   

I went on Grizzly River Run! I love love that ride so much!
(done at home)

We might need to work on varying her beginnings but I know she is going to be just fine.  

I feel lucky that I can make that decision for my daughter and I should "attend" those arguments.  It is my job as her mother to advocate for her.  And I will every time...and then will follow it up with loaf of banana bread for her teacher.

But what about as a teacher?  I have often found myself more of a questioner than a bandwagon jumper on-er. Usually I can resolve whatever issue I am concerned about and will eventually find myself on the bandwagon. But I am finding myself more often unable to resolve my concerns.  I find myself "attending" arguments that I shouldn't.  It does no good other than to irritate those around me (oh and they do) and leaves me frustrated, worried, angry and irritated.  Those kind of arguments are the ones I need to stop attending.  

Which brings me back to the tattoo...or maybe just a few sticky notes in a few key places and maybe some banana bread for myself.