Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

At the beginning of the summer, I had laminated a blank calendar and posted it on the frig.  My purpose for doing that was to not let the summer run away from me.  I always have the best intentions of all the things I am going to do, but also tend to let time pass me by.  I was determined to not let that happen this summer.  We filled that calendar with picnics, trips to the zoo, play dates, our trip to Montana, library visits and more.

A few weeks ago, I realized that there were days coming up on the calendar that said "school today".  That meant that Taelin was going to be going to "school" on those days and I was heading back to work. Taelin and I had a wonderful summer together (partially thanks to my list) and while in some ways I was ready to get back to work, there was a part of me that was sad the summer was ending.  One of the things that I had written on the calendar probably 4 or 5 times was visiting the butterfly garden out past Independence, Oregon.  For one reason or another, our plans changed and I had told myself that we could just go next year. And then I thought...."What if there isn't a next year to go?"

Now, before people get worried, my real thought was "What if the butterfly garden closes and we don't get another chance?" Thinking about it now, there are lots of things that would prevent us from going later.  So, on the last Friday before I had to go back to work, Taelin and I packed a "click click" (or picnic for those of you that don't speak Taelin) and headed off.

It was a bit of a drive out there but totally worth it.  I prepped Taelin the whole way out there that we were just going to look at the butterflies.  We weren't going to touch them.  My imagination had run away with me and I just pictured Taelin pulling wings of a butterflies.  Not in a mean way, but in a I-am-two-and-I-don't-realize-what-pulling-wings-off-of-butterflies-really-means kind of way.  So we talked about how we could look at them and even point at them, but we couldn't touch.

When we got to the butterfly farm, they had a double door thing going on.  You enter one door and let it completely close before the next one opens.  While you are in between the doors there is a person that goes over the rules.  He bent down to talk to Taelin and said, "There are some rules so we can keep the butterflies safe..." and before he could finish Taelin looked up and "Don't touch the butterflies.  Just point."  He stood up and smiled and quickly ran through the rest of the rules and in we went.

The room isn't actually that big, but there was a lot of beauty packed into such a small place.  It had a very warm and humid tropical feel to it and there were huge green leaves and colorful flowers everywhere you looked.  The butterflies just flew around you like you were part of the room and landed wherever they wanted to.  You could get so close to them it was truly amazing.  Taelin was memorized.

She was so good not to touch any of the butterflies.  She would go right up to them, stick her little (but getting bigger all the time) index finger out and say "POINT!".  It was absolutely adorable and the old ladies that were in front of us were laughing at the cuteness of it.  Taelin just wanted to keep going around and around the circular path they had built just racing to get to the next butterfly.  I really wanted her to just stop and look around her and watch as they flew by...but she is two and that wasn't exactly what she wanted.

On our third trip around the path, Taelin started to slow down because she figured out there wasn't anything "new" to see.  In a absolutely perfect moment, she stopped and looked up.  In general she doesn't spend a lot of time looking up, but I could tell in that moment she was soaking it all in.  There wasn't a smile or a frown on her face or even one of wonder, she just "was".  And right at that moment a huge butterfly with bright blue wings landed on her head, right in between her two pigtails.  Her eyes got huge and I whispered to her, "Hold still Taelin.  Hold very still."

She froze for what I am sure seemed like an eternity for her, but in reality was only about 5 seconds.  After slowing flapping its wings a few times, the butterfly flew off leaving Taelin in the same position she had been in when it arrived.  A smile formed from ear to ear and she started to clap her hands.  She was so excited that I could barely understand her when she said, "Mama, the butterfly on my head. I am so happy!"

The moment was exactly that, a small moment in time and she was off to the next butterfly and the line of ladybugs that was crawling along the door frame.  But for me, it was the exact moment I needed.  Parenting a two and a half year old is hard.  It is really hard. There are days I have to dig deep for the patience and understanding. Sometimes I feel like there is no place left to dig.  It can be frustrating and exhausting, I think for both of us.

For whatever reason, Taelin decided to stop and look up at that moment.  It made me wonder how many times I don't stop to look up from the craziness of my everyday life.  It made me wonder what happiness I might have missed.  That thought has entered my mind more than a few times in the last couple of weeks.  Between the fire in the kitchen and the beginning of the school year, my life has been like Taelin running around that circular path stopping only briefly to give something a short glance and move on.  I am so grateful for the lesson that Taelin and that butterfly taught me, it was perfect timing.

As I stop now and think about where my life is, at this moment, I truly feel nothing but happiness.  There are hard parts in my life, just like everyone, that cause stress, sadness or frustration but I am so grateful for my life so far, what I have right now, and the possibilities in front of me.