Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Oh man, how I needed this quote tonight.

My brain has been going a million miles a minute for the last two days and I just need to "smile, breathe, and go slowly".  There are too many things that I am trying to keep track of in the different aspects of my life and I can really tell.  I have no current to-do lists written down which mean it is just running through my head like a ticker tape.

There is just a perfect storm brewing between balancing prepping for Valentine's Day, Taelin's upcoming birthday party, my beginning teachers, my coworkers, Joe's added stress from work, my messy house...  I could keep going but I am going to smile, breathe and go slowly.

If I look at all of those things, I really haven't dropped any kind of ball really...but man, the guilt is oozing from my pores. For example, I usually make something for my teachers each month.  Nothing big, but something whether it is a little treat or holiday decoration and I didn't get anything done for January and thought V-Day would be my chance and this week has come and almost gone with me seeing my teachers empty handed.  And I feel guilty for that.

I was going to bake something to take to Taelin's preschool teachers for Valentine's Day.  I didn't.  I was going to put little gift baskets together for my friends that always get together around the holidays.  I have the baskets and one thing in them and no plans to see them soon.  One of them left the gift bag on my car in my driveway this morning.  Super sweet.  But really, she had to leave it on my car because I can't pull my crap together?  Super sad.

Taelin's birthday party is in 10 days.  And I just sent out the invitations today.  I think I have touched base with most people about it but I can't remember for sure.  Guilty, guilty, guilty.  I haven't even thought about presents, tried (and failed) to make those damn melted crayons things from Pinterest and other than a menu plan don't really have a plan.  Seriously, who burns crayons?!?

Work...well, there just isn't enough of me.  Everyone knows it.  Everyone is being very understanding.  But, honestly, that doesn't ease the guilt.  We (my other elementary mentors and I) started a new blog in hopes of connecting our teachers together in a different way.  It is super exciting but it has taken up my nights the last two nights.  Not so great for that whole balance thing.

And Joe...the poor guy is working a TON. He is getting home later than usually, eating dinner, helping Taelin with her bath and when I come out from tucking her in is upstairs working.  I feel guilty that he isn't coming home to a cleaner house and a less stressed out wife.

And I am not even going to get started on my house.  I am not even trying to go for "looking good" right now.  I am mostly going for "for the love of Pete just let me find my freakin' countertop because I need to make dinner" and barely getting that done.

...Inhale....Exhale....Inhale...Exhale...

I have probably stressed you out now haven't I.  Sorry about that.

I probably should just get off of here and go get some things done! I suppose that would help.  But what I really need to do is...

smile,
breathe
and go slowly

I think that "slowly" will start with some list making.  (And yes, I will add some things to the list that I have already done in an effort to help myself feel more productive.)

Ah...I feel better already.