Wednesday, December 28, 2011

gloss: to provide a gloss for: define or explain

I was always told that you could never use the word when trying to define it, but I have to tell you that I have come across more examples of that then I expected when searching for new words.  I have used the word gloss before, but not in the way it was defined in the word of the day on http://www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day/.  Here is was defined as a verb that meant to explain or define something...ok, seriously this might be getting a little ridiculous.  It feels a little like Inception.

Anyway,  I don't really have a reason for choosing this word over another.  It was the word of the day and I thought it was interesting that I have used this word many different times, but was unaware that it had a completely different meaning.  Now, I know...and so do you.  There are some examples of how it was used at the link above if you are interested.  I don't have any more time to gloss it for you.

Ha...see how I did that....ok...I am going to go and get some sleep.

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. ~unknown

A few years ago, one of my good friends told me about her "word" for the year.  I don't even remember what word she picked, but the general idea behind it was to pick just one word that would become your focus for the new year; kind of like a New Year's resolution without the specificity that could potentially lead to a broken self-promise.  It sounded like a neat idea, but for whatever reason I didn't get around to picking a word.

Then the other day when I was reading one of the message boards I frequent, I saw a thread started by someone who was trying to decide what her "one little word" was going to be for the year.  Apparently this concept has been around in the blogging world for awhile, which is probably where my friend first heard of it.  This particular post on the message board has now turned into a multi-page thread where different women are sharing the words they are considering for their word this year. People are picking all different kinds of words for lots of different reasons; focus, gratitude, simplify, healthy, content, smile, adventure, persistence, rebuild...just to give a few examples. Because of that thread, I have started to think that I might need "one little word" this year.

So what might my word for this year be?  Needing a word started me out on a hunt for a quote that might inspire me.  Nothing I found was floating my boat until I remembered that I have a Pinterest board that is nothing but quotes.  I went over to reread some of the quotes that have struck me for one reason or another over the past few months and found a quote and my "one little word" all at the same time.

     Peace. 
It does not mean to be in a place where there is
 no noise, trouble or hard work.  
It means to be in the midst of those things 
and still be calm in your heart. 
~unknown

It is perfect for me right now.  I already know that there are going to be troubles and hard work in this coming year.  I have a toddler. I have a job in a school district that is cutting between 20-25 million dollars.  I have friendships and family relationships that aren't always easy.  I have personality flaws that lead to self-struggle and problems.  There is going to be plenty of noise, trouble and hard work...there always is.

The difference this year though is that I would like there to be a little more calm in my being as I work through the noise and the trouble.  There is a scattered feeling that I can't even really put into words that has seemed to follow me the last few years.  It doesn't get in the way of me doing things, but it certainly leaves me feeling drained and exhausted.  In place of this scattered feeling, I would like to feel more peace.

I looked up the definition of "peace" in the dictionary and there were several.  The first three do a good job of what I am hoping to find more of this coming year.

Definition of peace:

1. a state of tranquility or quiet;
2. freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; 
3. harmony in personal relations.

I am not sure how I am going to go about acquiring this peace I am looking for.  I think I might first make or find some visual reminders of my word to have in the different spaces I occupy throughout my days.  Also, I don't want to commit to it completely yet, but I am also playing around with the idea of a monthly check-in here, although my guess is that if I truly work on making this word my mantra for the year it will probably pop up here more than just once a month.  I am not really sure, I guess that might be why it will take me all year (and probably then some).

I think for now, I am just going to think about it for awhile.  Luckily, I have a few more days of Christmas break and while there are a few things I would like to get done before going back to work, there isn't anything really pressing.  

Are you interested in joining me?  What might your "one little word" be for this coming year?

Saturday, December 24, 2011

mercurial: characterized by rapid and unpredictable changeableness of mood

I am sure it is the combination of being sick and the excitement of Christmas and all that goes with that, but Taelin's mood the last few days has been so mercurial that I am finding it a tad exhausting.

For the most part, she has been her happy, sing-through-the-day self.  Her epic meltdown at Fred Meyer's, the cause of which I can't even remember anymore, surely had more than one stranger questioning my parenting skills.  Her stalling tactics when not wanting to do whatever it is that we want her to do are becoming quite elaborate. Her insistence of "doing it myself" frustrates my need to hurry when we are running late.

I do have to say, for the record, that these last week since I have been off has been a lot of fun (for the most part).  We have baked cookies, visited Santa, played games, sang songs, and read Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer over and over.  We have danced, went shopping, wrapped presents and have redecorated the tree several times.  Her imagination is taking off lately and we have run from crocodiles, had a couple of picnics and several well attended tea parties.

I suppose it is all part of exerting her independence and in it's own way is kind of cute.  (Except the Fred Meyer's thing...there was nothing cute about that.)  We all have our moments, good and bad, but I think the thing that has me a bit baffled at times is the recovery time for her.  She can go from happy, to freaking-out-frustrated, and back to happy in a matter of minutes.  I, on the other hand, have not learned the recovery skills needed to keep up with her.  I guess that it my problem, not really hers, isn't it?

Thursday, December 22, 2011

A photo....or three.

Here is number 69 of my 100 snapshots.   (Learn more here to find out about 100 snapshots, which is number 68 my list.) There are way too many numbers in the post for me....so, here are the photos.

69. Reflection


And because I just can not resist sharing....


Christmas Traditions

It seems like there a lot of things on my list, relatively speaking, that have something to do with the Christmas season.  My December Daily book (which will hopefully get put together before going back to work), making gingerbread houses, pictures with Santa....  I guess they are all my attempt at trying to start things that Taelin will maybe want to do year after year.   I don't have a lot of traditions that "have" to be done this time of year; I guess my family just didn't have many of them when I was growing up.

Another thing on my list was baking and decorating sugar cookies.  This one wouldn't have necessarily had to have been done around the holiday season, but for the sake starting traditions, Taelin and I rolled up our sleeves and got to work.

Here is her cutting some out....



Here is a picture that actually doesn't do justice to the amount of sprinkles and decoration that were used...

Some of the finished product...

And the inevitable conclusion....

We had a great time with another friend who thankfully took some of the cookies home.  I have a weakness for sugar cookies so it helps that we only have a few and that we are saving some of them for Santa....although I have an "in" with Santa and he said he would share one of the cookies with me on Christmas Eve.  I was a lot of fun and Taelin has already asked to do it again! 

Monday, December 19, 2011

Italian Beef

There is a message board that I frequent that has a recipe that has been making the rounds.  It is a recipe for Italian Beef to make Italian Beef sandwiches.  The one thing that had me hesitating to make it is that it used a really fatty piece of beef in a crockpot and then shredded it in it's own juices.  Probably really yummy...not so good for us.  Then one day I was looking in the freezer for what I had and came across a flank steak.  Not usually something that would be used in the crockpot, but perfect for trying this recipe.

Ingredients:
1 Tbsp dried onion flakes
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp red pepper flakes
1 tsp parsley
1 clove of garlic, minced
1/4 cup of water
1/4 cup of pepperoncinis
1 lb flank steak

Directions:
1. Mix first 7 ingredients in the crockpot. Add flank steak to mixture.
2. Turn crockpot on high for 6 hours.  Turn meat over occasionally.
3. After the 6 hours is up, shred the meat in the crockpot.

I served the meat on toasted rolls with grilled onions and peppers.  I broiled provolone cheese after adding everything on the roll.  It was REALLY, REALLY yummy and super easy!  I will definitely be making this again!

The Nutcracker

For some reason, still unknown to me, I have wanted to see The Nutcracker since I was a little girl.  I must have seen something during the Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade one year or maybe it just seeps into your being when you wear ballet slippers.  Whatever it was, I have wanted to go for years.  I think one year I may have hinted to Joe that I would like it for a Christmas present but now that I know him better it was kind of foolish for me to think that he would purposefully go to the ballet with me. If I would have outright asked him he would've gone, but that's not what I did.

Well, this year is the year that I finally made it!  A dear friend agreed to go with me and we went to an afternoon performance.  We had a great time out at lunch first and then I got lost in downtown Portland trying to find a parking spot.  Once I figured out where I was going, we got to the auditorium and found our seats.  I purposefully chose a performance with a live orchestra.  I have to say that my heart was a little homesick as a heard the instruments warming up. (maybe something to do with my clarinet needs to go on my next 101 list...)

The performance was absolutely wonderful.  I think my favorite scene was the one right before intermission.  The effect of the snow on the the floor as the dancers performed...it was amazing.

It was over before I knew it.  There were quite a few families there and lots of little girls in Christmas dresses.  I am going to have to restraint myself to not take Taelin earlier than she would appreciate it; she is certainly too young right now.  But next year?  Maybe....

Sunday, December 18, 2011

lexicology: the study of the formation, meaning, and use of words and of idiomatic combinations of words

So, this whole "learn a new word every week" thing isn't working out as I thought it would.  I think I might need to start reading books for pleasure again because that is where I run into words I don't know.  This picking a random word I don't know is not doing much for truly building my vocabulary.  Or maybe it is just that lexicology isn't that exciting to me....  Either way, I already replaced one of my goals with this goal so kind of like a white elephant gift, I can only replace it so many times.  I guess I will just need to figure out how to make it more exciting!

Here is to next week...and the amazing new word I will share!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

100% Tip

In the last few months I have started to do something that I never thought I would do...get massages.  I know it might sound crazy to those of you that are massage fanatics, but it never was really something I was comfortable with.  About two years ago, I started to have trouble with my Achilles tendon.  I injured it trying to do too much exercise too soon and it has bothered me since.  I did physical therapy for awhile and it helped, but once I stopped going (because it was barely covered by insurance) the pain started up again.  

This fall I was talking to my favorite yoga instructor after a class and she asked me about my foot.  She had seen me having some trouble during a couple of poses and I shared with her pretty much what I just shared here.  She asked if I had ever had a massage therapist work on the area.  I hadn't and she said it might be something I should consider.  Apparently there can be some build up on the tendon that makes it more difficult and painful to move which then causes more build up that makes it more difficult and painful to move...you get the picture. 

So, with that recommendation and a painful foot, I called up and scheduled my first massage.  Let's just say I am hooked.  I have only gotten deep tissue massage because while I would like to just get relaxing, comfortable massages, I have some issues that need to be resolved to help me on my journey to becoming more healthy.  It doesn't always feel great while my massage therapist is doing the massage, but I feel amazing afterwards.  She is absolute amazing, makes me feel more than comfortable and has been a terrific source of advice as I try and figure out how to make my body work better than it does right now.

Which brings me to this blog post.  One of the things on my list was to "Leave 100% tip."  When I first put this on my list I just assumed that at some point I would come across a dynamite food server and at the end of my meal I would just double the bill.  Viola....and check.  But to be honest we aren't eating out as much as we used to and while we haven't come across any bad service really there hasn't been an experience that has screamed "TIP 100%!!"  Then a couple of weeks ago when my massage therapist had already spent 30 minutes with me before I even got on the table talking about ways to make accommodations to yoga poses based on my injury and then gave me a complete 60 minute massage with another 15 minutes of advice at the end, I knew I had found the right person to help me check on #21.

So this week, after my massage (which was utterly painful and awesomely wonderful at the same time) I paid my bill and left my normal tip.  Then I gave her a Christmas card with the 100%.  She and I have talked about my list before and while she didn't know about this specific one, she understands my purpose of going about completing this list.  I left a little note inside the card about how much I appreciate her above and beyond service.  I hope that she does something for herself with it, but she (as a single mom to a four year old) will probably do something for her daughter for Christmas.  It doesn't really matter to me what she does with it...all I know is that I left that afternoon with a smile on my face knowing that I probably made her day. 
 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Roasted Green Beans

Here I am again, calling something that could hardly be called a recipe, a recipe.  I have a lot of green beans in the freezer right now from this summer.  They are all packaged up thanks to my food saver and I have been pulling at least one package out a week.  Joe would much prefer canned green beans but I think they are too salty for us plus the beans I have in the freezer were ones that Taelin and I picked as a part of Salem Harvest.  We picked 10 lbs of beans one night...we got half of them to take home for free and the other half were donated to the local food bank.  So, Joe isn't going to get his canned beans for awhile...sorry.

I got a cool little toaster oven for my birthday this year that was a life-saver when we were going through the kitchen remodel.  When the remodel was over, I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep the toaster oven on the counter or not...and then I started cooking again and it hasn't left it's spot.  It is great for a lot of things, but it is especially good for roasting vegetables when I have the oven otherwise occupied.  I looked up quite a few recipes and some of them were quite elaborate (apparently those people don't have toddlers to entertain) but I kept it simple.  

Ingredients:
1/2 lb of green beans
2 teaspoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon of kosher salt
1 clove of garlic, minced

Directions:
1.Trim the green beans however you like.  I just cut off the one end and left them longer.
2. Toss the beans with the olive oil, salt and garlic.
3. Roast at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes, until they start to brown.


They were ok like this, but the next time I make them I will probably do a little more to them.  Maybe some different kinds of spices to match what we are having as the main entree.  

nattering: to talk incessently

I know that people think I am a liar when they see Taelin in person, but that girl can talk.  She clams up when she is around people, even those she knows pretty well, with but a few exceptions.

Perhaps it is just the way with 2 year old girls, but her nattering has taken on a whole new level in the past couple of weeks.  I love it all, even when it is too much.  I would say about half the time she is actually talking to someone and the other half...well, who knows.  Sometimes it is like she is her own little Twitter feed, which is a joke that we have been making for awhile now but has taken a whole new meaning on.

I need to be better about writing some of her gems down.  There have a been a couple of hilarious stories of late involving body parts that need to be preserved for later embarrassment.  And then there are the sweet things I swear I will remember forever, but surely won't.  For instance, when one of us tells her we love her she replies, "I love you too either."

Even though things have been so busy, I try to remember to stop and really listen when she is talking to me.  People say that the time just flies by and I thought I understood what they meant by that.  But I realize now that I don't...which makes me realize that I probably really don't understand yet. It is easy to get caught up in all the things that life throws at us...or the things we stick ourselves in the middle of...but I need to anchor myself in what is important.  And right now, what's important is the nattering of a two-year old.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. ~Edward Everett Hale

Oh, how I need to remember this quote.  I need to write it on sticky notes and put it everywhere; my car, my bathroom mirrors, my refrigerator, my calendar.  If I wasn't so bloody afraid of needles, I could get it tattooed on my hand.  

I tend to be a big picture person.  I can be pretty detailed orientated when I need to be, but am more of a global thinker.  This character trait, in many cases, would be seen as a strength. It is important when working within a group of people that there are people that can zoom out and not get caught up in the minute details that often bog down a group.  But right now, my "ability" to think globally is not serving me...at all.

We are in an interesting time in public education and specifically, the school district in which I work.  I suppose there hasn't ever really been an uninteresting time in education, but right now there seems to be some particularly interesting things going on.  Without going into all the details of what I have been thinking about (ha...details of a big picture...I am screwed), I just want to say that often times I feel very powerless.  I am paralyzed by the fact that there is SO much to do and less resources to do it with; I feel like I don't even know where to start.  Then there are other times, the times that I am working really hard to make a difference and I feel like it doesn't.  I really don't know which is worse.  What I do know, is that neither feels good.

After a particularly odd experience today where I found myself unable to complete a sentence in front of one of the Assistant Superintendents of our district because I started to cry, I felt like I was just ready to give up.  And, in a way, I think I might need to.

I don't think I need to give up completely and start applying at Starbucks (although I have made that "joke" more than I probably should), but I think I might be on to something.  One of the things that probably should have made this list, the 10 things that I don't like about myself, but didn't is that I tend to see things in black and white; all or nothing.  I know in my heart that isn't true, but in times of distress it is like I go back to default.  In this case, maybe if education can't be what I want it to be I just need to quit.  Quitting clearly isn't an option (or something I really want) but I think I do need to "give up" on a few things.

What I realized today is that I have amazing co-workers.  When I couldn't finish my sentence today, someone jumped in for me and said the exact thing I wanted to say myself.  Later after I gained some composure, I went on for way too long to try to make a point but luckily another co-worker followed up with his own point that punctuated mine.  After the meeting, I rambled some more and they all listened, all of them.  Nobody made me feel more crazy than I already did or like I was over-reacting.  They shared kind words that told me I wasn't the only one that felt the way I did and gave me their outsider's view and some things to think about.

In addition to a great support at work, I can't forget Joe.  He has been asking me for days if I am okay; that I seem out of sorts.  I start to try to process and it just comes out in one big mess.  He just lets it be the mess it is...and asks me more questions the next day.  I say one thing one day and I completely contradict myself the next.  He wants me to happy, nothing more and nothing less.  I am a lucky lady

So, I have made a decision after today.  I am not quitting.  I have too much to offer.  But, I am going to give up just a little bit.  I am going to give up trying to have all the answers to the problems I see.  I am going to give up just seeing the problems.  I am going to give up being blind to the fact that I make a difference everyday to someone at work.  I going to give up the fact that difference needs to be a big one.  I am going to give up needing to know what next year might bring...or even next month...and just look at one day.

This post has been written and rewritten, with different quotes as the title and different emotions as the body.  To be honest, rereading it makes me sound like one big hot mess and almost makes me not want to publish it.  It sounds like I need some sort of medication or at least a swift kick in the pants.  But I am giving up on it for now too.  I need to get to bed because I have a big day tomorrow.  I need to go do something tomorrow.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Chicken and Rice Casserole

The other night I was just feeling a little down in the dumps.  There are a lot of great things in my life that I am extremely grateful for, but I have been feeling a little weird about work for awhile now.  There is a blog post about that in the works, but it isn't quite ready yet...

Anyway, old habits seriously die hard, and the other week I was just craving some good old fashion comfort food.  One of my favorite dishes when I was a kid was baked chicken and rice casserole.  It was so creamy and warm...oh so good.  But, my mom made it usually with drumsticks or thighs (because that was the cheapest) and usually with the skins on.  She also used cream of celery soup, something that I haven't used for awhile.  So, that week, I decided that I was going to make it my mission to figure out how to make a healthier version of an old favorite.  Joe isn't a huge fan of casseroles, but he loves me and he loves chicken so I went ahead and took a chance.  I looked at a bunch of different recipes on www.allrecipes.com and www.cooks.com and came up with something that was simple and easy...and really, really yummy!

Ingredients
4 teaspoons of olive oil
1 cup of rice
1/2 cup of onions, chopped
1 clove of garlic, minced
10 oz of cream of celery soup (I used this homemade version.)
2 cups of water
4 3oz boneless, skinless chicken breasts
salt and pepper to taste

Directions
1. Heat olive oil in a pan and add the rice.  Cook the rice until it turns translucent.  
2. Add onions and garlic to the pan and cook a little longer.  The onions will become soft and the rice will begin to brown.  
3. In an oven safe casserole dish, combine the soup and water.  Once combined, stir in the rice, onions, and garlic from the pan.  
4. Lay the pieces of chicken on top, careful not to overlap.  Sprinkle with salt and pepper. (I suppose you could add any spice you wanted to at this point...)
5. Cover the casserole dish and bake in the oven at 375 for about an hour.  Take off the foil the last 15 minutes or so if you want to brown the top a little.  (Doing this will result in there being some crunchy rice at the edge of the pan that I have fond memories of my sister and I fighting over.)

I served this with roasted green beans and it was a complete meal.  A lot of recipes added a vegetable of some kind (asparagus, broccoli, peas, zucchini, etc) but I opted to keep it separate. It was exactly what I wanted it to be...just a little healthier than I remembered.  My lips didn't have that greasy smack that I remember having as a kid, but that is probably for the best!

frondescence: leafage; foliage

Last week was really the last week of brightly colored frondescence.  I knew it was coming, but this week the weather turned frosty, making it feel a little closer to Christmas but also forcing the last few leaves that clung onto the tree finally give up and fall to the ground.  And with that, we enter the time of year here in Oregon that is filled with rainy, wet days.  We will get a break here and there, but once the rain really starts it goes on for awhile.  The thing that I need to cling to myself, is that the rain is why it is so wonderfully green come spring...and I could be shoveling snow.    Bring it on Oregon winter...I have my Vitamin D and I am not afraid to take it!

Cream of Celery Soup

I grew up in a trailer raised by parents who originated from North Dakota and Minnesota.  There were A LOT of casseroles in my life growing up...and I loved it, mostly because I didn't know any different.  Chicken and rice casserole and tater tot casserole were my absolute favorites, but there was often a combination of meat, starch and vegi that was thrown together in a dish.  What makes a casserole a casserole though, really is the thing that binds it all together.  In my house, that was usually a can of cream of something.  You know what I mean, the red and white can of gelatinous goop that when mixed with milk and poured over the casserole contents made it a casserole.

Well, I found a couple of things out as I got older and started to cook on my own.  First, of all, that "soup" isn't actually soup.  If you try to read the list of ingredients on any kind of can of that "soup" you will find that out for yourself.  Second, there is a lot of fat and even more sodium in a can....a LOT.  Those two things, along with the fact that Joe isn't a huge casserole fan, made me pretty much stop the use of cream of anything.  But, every once and while, I feel the need for comfort food...and usually for me that is going to me a casserole.

I have come across several different versions of "homemade" cream of soups but for whatever reason never got around to trying it.  The other night though, I needed chicken and rice casserole, but I didn't have a can of the "soup"...which led me to finally making the homemade version on my own.

Cream of Celery soup

Ingredients:
1/2 cup chopped celery
2 Tablespoons butter
1/4 corn starch
2 cups of milk
2 cups of chicken broth
1 teaspoon of salt
1/2 teaspoon of pepper


Directions:
1. Saute the celery in the butter until the celery is softened.
2. In a separate container, combine the corn starch and the milk.
3. Slowly whisk in the corn starch and milk mixture into the celery and butter and mix until it gets thicker.  
4. Add the chicken broth slowly into the pan and whisk until it is all combined.  Add salt and pepper at this point.
5.  Cook for 4 minutes or so, stirring fairly constantly, as it boils and reaches its full thickness.

This version will not get as thick as the stuff that comes out of the can but I just used the same volume in the recipes I have it worked great.  A can is 10.5 oz. and I just used my measuring cup to measure that out and then I froze the rest in the same portions (or half of a portion).  

I am so happy that I finally tried it.  It worked great in my chicken and rice casserole, recipe to soon follow, and there are a few more things that I am excited to be able to make again with this recipe...it just makes it convenient to have it in the freezer and I can feel okay about eating it!  My chicken pot pie, crock pot pork chops, and creamy cheesy potatoes are all going to be able to come back!  :)